


The Motions

by princess_mouse



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: Anxiety, Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Dates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shyness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 03:58:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13895754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_mouse/pseuds/princess_mouse
Summary: CC and Ashley are slowly figuring out their crush on each other.





	1. Chapter 1

It started with a jacket.

CC found himself shrugging off his puffy black jacket and handing it over to Ashley who shivered beside him. The dampness of the rain and the frigid air in the venue had the smaller man shaking like a leaf. CC had been taught to always be a gentleman which had him taking off his jacket courteously to offer to Ashley.

At first Ashley was hesitant, he kept repeating he would be fine but even the members of Falling In Reverse were bundled up and pacing around the venue trying to stay warm. CC was boiling with his sweater and jacket on, seeing Ashley in his thin damp sweater and toque only furthered his insistence that he needed it more than him. There was a sense of satisfaction brimming through him as he watched his friend and band mate wear his jacket. Ashley shoved his cold hands into the pockets and smiled awkwardly back at CC.

All around Ashley’s fingers were Chupa Chups wrappers. Thankful only the wrappings not the used and chewed lollipop sticks. As he warmed up he knew he couldn’t complain even if trash surrounded his hands. There were worse things he could have found in CC’s jacket pockets. There could be unidentified critters or crumbs residing in those pockets, yet Ashley didn’t care. Some warmth returned to his body but his teeth still chattered together.

“You still cold lil’ mama?” CC asked wrapping his arm around Ashley and pulled him against his side.

Jinxx and Jake shot them a curious look from across the room. Andy hissed at them to stop staring and went back to his phone call. CC glared at the guitarists as if to challenge them to make a comment.

Ashley snuggled into CC’s embrace. He was confused how the drummer could be warm in only his sweater. The room was unbearably cold. His thin frame was chilled and the only thing that would fix him was a shower.

“Let’s go back to the bus,” CC suggested. He kept his arm secured around Ashley as they walked out of the venue and back into the rain. There was little protest from Ashley who would willingly go were he was led at this point. The wind whipped the rain against them during the short walk. Both were thankful once they reached the bus and retreated inside.

There was a notable change in temperature when they finally stepped onto the bus and Ashley could feel the heat against his cold cheeks. His shivering didn’t cease though. He cursed how sensitive he could be to the cold. He grew up with rain, snow, and chilly weather. He’d toured a lot in winter too, there was no reason to be so wussy.

“Holy shit, Ash,” CC said looking at his friend. The short walk outside shouldn’t have affected him that much. He felt bad pulling away from Ashley as he pressed his hand against his friend’s forehead. “Do you feel sick?” CC inquired.

Ashley gave him a weak ‘no’ as his teeth chattered.

CC ever so gently tested Ashley’s cheeks next. “I want to take your temperature,” he said looking a little concerned. There was nothing obviously wrong aside from Ashley being cold.

“I’m cold that’s all,” Ashley said defensively. He knew fighting CC when he was worried was not worth the fuss and he sat down on the couch in the lounge to humor him. Ashley didn’t feel sick and the thought that he might be running a temperature was making him anxious. When he got anxious, he got nauseous which meant he would throw up. That would lead to crying and the hiccups.

CC grabbed the thermometer from the first aid kit and came back to the lounge. He tauntingly held up the thermometer and waited for Ashley to open his mouth. As usual, Ashley was stubborn and made a face at him. “The sooner you prove to me you’re not running a fever the sooner I’ll warm you up,” CC said reasonably.

Ashley opened his mouth and allowed CC to put the thermometer under his tongue. He clamped his mouth shut and scowled. CC sat down beside him as they waited. Three minutes seemed like an eternity to Ashley whose teeth made a percussive sound against the plastic.

CC didn’t give Ashley warning as he pulled the thermometer out of his mouth. He studied the numbers and looked back at his friend somewhat confused. “No fever but your temperature is low. It’s 96.1 degrees not 98.6 degrees which is normal,” CC said.

“Is that bad? Am I going to be okay?” Ashley asked anxiously.

The drummer chuckled. He didn’t mean to worry Ashley who was looking at him as if were told he was on his death bed. CC reached his free hand out and rubbed his friend’s cheek. “You’re fine. It happens sometimes, if it were any lower then we’d need to worry. Now, can I warm you up?” he asked.

Ashley nodded. He watched CC closely as he got up again to put away the first aid kit. His mind started to race with thoughts of how CC intended to warm him up. Were they going to cuddle? Was CC going to make him tea? What about the show? It was in two hours.

“You’re thinking way to loud,” CC teased as he offered his hand to help Ashley up. He pulled his friend back towards their bunks and stopped once they reached their destination. He released Ashley’s hand and reached up to push his coat off his friend’s shoulders. The coat hit the floor with a little thud and Ashley blushed over the action. CC looked at him nervously.

This was becoming somewhat intimate as he pulled Ashley’s toque off next.

Ashley ruffled his hair and looked up through his thick eyelashes. “I think your hat needs to go too,” he said softly as he pulled off CC’s hat.

CC grabbed the zipper on Ashley’s Outlaw sweater and slowly unzipped the garment wrapped around his friend. It was still damp from the rain when they walked into the venue earlier and probably part of Ashley’s chill. The smaller man shrugged his way out of the damp sweater and gave CC that smile.

It was his endearing smile. The closed lipped one that made him look sweet and innocent. The one he gave CC a lot when they were alone together. Eventually, he would smile showing his teeth because CC managed to make him laugh or because he did something kind for Ashley.

“You’re freezing,” CC commented as he rubbed his hands up Ashley’s bare arms.

Ashley could feel the warmth of his friend’s hands on his skin and it was comforting. Even when he was shivering and begging silently for CC to make it better. Ashley longed for him to be his savior, his knight in shining armor, and he knew how desperate that made him seem. He had a crush. It was obvious there was a similar feeling being reciprocated. CC teased him and always found an excuse to be near him. There was a lot of staring at each other which Jinxx liked to point out and watch them both blush over the accusation.

CC noticed Ashley’s silence and stopped rubbing his arms. “I uh, this might seem a bit over kill but we need to lose the rest of our clothes,” he said sheepishly.

“Are you trying to bed me because I am not easy?” Ashley said cocking an eyebrow. His tone was a bit offended over the suggestion.

The drummer’s brown eyes popped and he realized he said something wrong. It made him fearful that he insulted Ashley with his suggestion. He only intended to help his friend warm up. “No! Not at all. That’s not what I meant. You’ve got a chill and the best way to warm up is slowly. I was suggesting body heat. The fact that we would be in our underwear is a bonus,” CC said in his usual loud manner.

“I don’t have hypothermia,” Ashley said even if he liked CC’s plan.

CC grinned and trailed his hand down Ashley’s cold arms to his wrists. “You basically have hypothermia, I’m diagnosing you with it right now and the only way you can survive is cuddling with me,” CC teased.

Ashley rolled his eyes though his smile defeated his whole act. “My bunk or yours?” he asked pulling his wrists free of CC’s grip. That allowed his shaking hands a moment to grab the bottom hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up over his head.

“I’ve got the electric blanket,” CC answered. He unzipped his sweater and added it to the growing pile of black clothes.

They shuffled out of their remaining clothes, leaving everything in a pile as a tell-tale sign that they were in bed together. Any innocent eyes would assume the worst. CC and Ashley had one piece of fabric as a barrier between them.

It was awkward at first when Ashley crawled into CC’s bunk and felt his friend crawl in behind him. The curtain was drawn and CC pulled the blanket over them before he cuddled closer. Ashley was still shivering as the drummer bridged the gap between them. The warmth against his back made him feel better as he linked his fingers with CC’s.

“What if I can’t get warm?” Ashley asked anxiously. He didn’t like that his anxiety was creeping back in. He was quite content being held by CC even if he was chilled to the bone.

CC shushed him and pressed a kiss to the back of his head. “Ash, it’ll take a bit. I’m like a furnace you’ll get warm trust me,” he said.

Ashley pulled CC’s arm hinting he wanted him as close as physically possible.

“Do you want to watch Netflix or something?” CC offered. He wanted to ease a bit of the awkwardness. Ashley was overly quiet, and he assumed part of it was him being tired. The way he was breathing was familiar to CC. He slept near Ashley enough to recognize his breathing patterns. He pressed another kiss to Ashley’s head.

The bassist hummed out a response that sounded a lot like ‘I don’t care’ as he closed his eyes.

“We don’t have too. If you’re tired you can sleep,” CC said.

Ashley didn’t know what he wanted. A shiver ran up his spine and he trembled. He wanted to be warm and to enjoy the fact that he was cuddling with the guy he had a crush on. He didn’t want to talk because his teeth were chattering. There was still a window of opportunity for him to say something stupid or random. His anxiety was brimming that he would never warm up and that he indeed had hypothermia. He let go of CC’s hand and rolled over to plaster himself against his friend’s bare chest.

“Want to wear my Sesame Street pj pants?” CC asked. He rested his chin a top Ashley’s head and hugged him close. He was worried. In the back of his mind he wondered what nasty sickness Ashley was coming down with. He wanted him to start running a fever or sweat, anything to regulate his temperature.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Ashley said desperately.

CC hugged him extra tight. The meek sounds of Ashley’s voice made him stay even though he was planning to bundle him up in his clothes. “I won’t, Ashy. In a bit will you consider adding a layer?”

Ashley agreed and thirty minutes later he was wearing CC’s pj pants and black long-sleeved shirt. CC was hugging him close and rubbing his back. Ashley’s shivers were receding as he dozed off in his friend’s arms. He could feel CC kissing his forehead and whispering to him which made him emotionally warm.

CC loved the moment Ashley clung to him. His tattooed fingers lightly brushed against the drummer’s bare back as they hugged each other close. Ashley’s breathing slowed down as he was lulled to sleep. Unfortunately, CC was not tired, so he ended up watching over Ashley.

The smaller man did not wake up when the sound of three jovial people stomped their way onto the bus. Their voices echoing excitement over the gig being cancelled because the heat in the venue was still not working. Their celebration was cut short when they noticed the pile of black clothes in the aisle between the bunks.

“Are you guys decent?” Jake chortled.

Jinxx rolled his blue eyes at his friend, “If there is a pile of clothes on the floor they won’t be decent.”

CC rolled over a bit and pulled open the curtain. He made a gesture for them to stop being so loud which only made them taunt him more about being naked with Ashley. “I’m not naked, he’s wearing my pajamas. Can you guys seriously stop? Ash has a chill,” CC said defensively.

Andy poked his head into the small opening of the bunk and saw Ashley asleep in CC’s arms. “Did you check his temperature?” Andy whispered.

“Yah, his temperature was low. He says he doesn’t feel sick only cold,” CC said.

The younger man gave CC a sad look. He didn’t have a lot to contribute in ways of helping. It appeared CC had things under control and Ashley was well cared for. Andy told CC that the gig was cancelled then proceeded to herd the guitarists away from the very back bunks.

CC pulled the curtain back into place and resumed their hug. The sound of the Batman theme song replaced the guitarists loud conversations. Their friends were obviously going to have a movie night instead of playing video games or drinking so Ashley could sleep. CC was thankful and eventually fell asleep himself.

He held Ashley against his chest all night and in the morning, CC woke up to a disconcerting sound. He heard congestion and sniffling. Ashley was contently tucked in his arms trying to breathe through his nose. CC tried not to freak out, he didn’t do sickness or germs. He didn’t have the heart to shove Ashley away from him though. Last night he was in a pitiful state which made CC want to be his knight in shining armor.

Ashley was no longer freezing, he was now warm and sweating. He was in a deep sleep and quite happy to be nestled in CC’s arms. He didn’t notice his nose running or that he was congested. He was almost fused to CC like a conjoined twin. Ashley was deep in his colorful dreamland brainstorming art.

CC could feel something wet against his bare chest and he knew it was snot. Ashley sniffled a few times as he struggled to breathe. CC’s anxiety peaked, and he reached his arm out for the flat pack Kleenex he had stashed under his one pillow. He tried not to panic as he wiggled away from Ashley momentarily to wipe his chest clean. “You are so lucky that I’m attrac-“

“Achoo!”

It was somewhere between cute and disgusting.

CC almost started screaming. He couldn’t believe Ashley sneezed on him and yet in the sheer terror of the moment he saw his friend sniffle more before the next sneeze rolled in. He watched Ashley raise his sleeve covered hand to wipe his nose and CC gently grabbed his wrist to stop him from using his favorite shirt as a hanky. There was little fight from Ashley who was still asleep. CC didn’t know what came over him when he grabbed another Kleenex and wiped his friend’s nose. He didn’t think of himself first instead Ashley’s running nose was his priority as he cleaned him up. “My poor Ash. I knew you were getting sick,” CC whispered.

Ashley mumbled and wedged himself back against CC to leech his heat.

CC didn’t know why he was being so careless as he tossed the used Kleenex behind Ashley and cuddled him close. He could feel the fever radiating off his friend and CC pressed a kiss to his sweaty forehead. “What am I going to do with you?” CC asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is something I work on when I hit a block with Ashley Baby (which isn't a lot but I enjoy writing this). I'll periodically put a chapter up as the other story is priority!  
> I don't know where this will go-whether it will stay in the cute fluffy realm or push a bit more. I'll just let inspiration guide my writing hand!  
> Happy Reading!


	2. Chapter 2

It started with a jacket then Ashley countered CC’s gesture with a game.

Ashley’s chill that was coincidentally followed by a cold only kept him down for a week then he was back to his usual self. He was terrorizing CC which resulted in the drummer hugging him tight. Jake and Jinxx teased them about their disgusting display of affection. Ashley smiled and squealed when CC grabbed his sides to tickle him. Collective groans of annoyed band mates filled the bus and venues as Ashley and CC struggled to keep their hands to themselves.

Something had changed between them since CC offered Ashley his jacket then took care of him when he was sick. They cuddled and held hands, they teased each other, and any kisses were on the cheek or forehead. They were sleeping beside each other almost every night whether it was in one of their bunks or sharing a hotel room. Tonight, they had a hotel and Ashley was bubbling with excitement as he skipped out of the bathroom in his skin-tight boxers and black tank top. He had a lot of energy after having a shower and getting his favorite take out.  

When he skipped into the room CC raised an eyebrow and wondered what had ‘Princess Purdy’ joyously digging through one of his suitcases. He was watching a documentary on conspiracies and Ashley’s bubbliness made it hard to concentrate.

“We should play a game,” Ashley said popping up from the floor and holding up a bottle of Maker’s Mark.

CC was intrigued. The way Ashley was smiling deviously drew him in. When he didn’t answer right away he saw the bassist chew his lip nervously as he waited for an answer. “What kind of game?” CC asked.

Ashley clambered his way onto the bed with the bottle of whiskey. CC snickered as he watched the ever so graceful Ashley Purdy awkwardly get onto the bed. “I was thinking truth or dare,” Ashley said as he sat cross-legged on the bed.

“How old are you?” CC asked raising an eyebrow. He wouldn’t admit that he loved the idea and wanted to see where it was going. There was a window of opportunity to kiss Ashley.

“Old enough to know this could be a lot of fun,” Ashley countered.

CC sat up and copied Ashley’s position by crossing his legs. He teasingly pushed the smaller man’s shoulder and he almost fell over. Ashley gave him a look that said ‘don’t do that’ yet he started to smile and flick his bangs out of his face. CC knew his demand to play a game was his shy way of saying he wanted more than cuddling and holding hands. Ashley could be kittenish in nature but when he liked someone he was shy. He wouldn’t come out and say what he wanted, he would be cautious and play it safe to avoid rejection. CC was shy too and Jinxx was the one whispering in his ear to take initiative. “Fine, why do you have Maker’s?” CC questioned.

“If one of us doesn’t want to answer a truth or complete a dare we take a shot,” Ashley clarified.

The drummer groaned. Anytime they did shots, they both ended up drunk, and hungover. “You already threw up once this week, what makes you think I want to hold your hair back tonight?” CC asked warily.

Ashley shrugged even his brown eyes made him look innocent when he answered, “I know you like me.”

“I do like you, I like you more than a friend,” CC said using Jinxx’s advice to take control of the situation.

The smaller man didn’t expect CC to say that and his cheeks started to burn as his face turned red. Ashley looked like a deer in headlights as he stared at his friend. He was lost for words because he knew they liked each other and there was CC confessing his feelings.

CC shimmied closer to Ashley until their knees were touching. He adored the blush on Ashley’s cheeks as he stared back at him. “I know you like me too,” CC teased.

Ashley’s left hand released the whiskey bottle and he covered his face with his hands. He hated how much he was blushing, it was like being a teenager all over again. “Yah,” he said shyly.

“Don’t cover your face. You’re to beautiful,” CC said. He reached out and softly gripped Ashley’s wrists as he pulled his hands away from his face. “Who knew Ashley Purdy was so modest,” CC said.

“Slugs have four noses,” Ashley blurted out randomly and his cheeks turned even redder. He wanted to bury his way under the blankets and hide. Whenever he got compliments he said something stupid in return. He would spend days chastising himself for being so awkward around other people.

CC burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. Ashley’s expression changed from embarrassed to mortified. He tried to pull his wrists free and CC tightened his grip a bit. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed. We like each other, we’ve got that established. Now can I kiss you or do I need to dare you too?” CC asked.

“I dare you to kiss me,” Ashley mumbled.

No one had to ask him twice. CC leaned forward and pressed his chapped lips to Ashley’s. His lips felt as soft as they looked and tasted sweet like the gum the bassist chewed. Ashley kissed him back gently as if he might scare him off. CC pulled away and peered at Ashley for a moment to make sure he was still okay. He didn’t expect his friend to wiggle his wrists free and grab his t-shirt to pull him back into the kiss.

Ashley didn’t mean to ruin the kiss a moment later by smiling.  He couldn’t help it. He was bubbling with so many emotions. He was naturally high on the feeling of CC’s lips. The tenderness and warmth Ashley felt made him a little crazy.

“Truth or dare?” CC asked. He wanted to keep the game going. The way Ashley was acting was endearing and he wanted to see how far they could go.

His smile didn’t falter when he accepted dare.

“I dare you to take two shots,” CC cackled.

Ashley was going to argue but that meant he would still have to take a shot for declining the dare. “You’re trying to get me drunk,” he accused.

CC watched Ashley unscrew the lid off the bottle of whiskey and take two good swigs. The bassist shuddered a little and recapped the bottle. Ashley stared back at him with a less than thrilled look. “You wanted to play a game,” CC said.

“I don’t want to throw up,” Ashley grumbled.

“I’ll take care of you if you do.”

Ashley rolled his eyes. “You ain't getting me into bed. I’m not easy,” he reiterated.

“Tell me a truth. Why do you keep saying that?” CC asked linking his fingers with Ashley’s. He heard this comment twice and he was starting to worry. He didn’t want Ashley to think that was the only reason he was interested in him.

Ashley tried yanking his hands away. He didn’t want to talk about it. He would rather take another shot than explain to CC why he was panicking. He berated himself for making the comment in the first place. Why couldn’t he enjoy the private time he had with CC?  “Because I don’t want to be used,” he said bluntly.

“Ashley, I really like you. Why do you think I would use you?”

He couldn’t look at CC. He felt ashamed admitting that. “This,” Ashley started, he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “This is new for me. I’ve never been with a guy before. I don’t want you to sleep with me then ditch me.”

“I thought you had been with guys,” CC said. He was shocked. He realized how substantial this was. Ashley was giving him insight into his relationships and that was a big step for him since he was very private about his sex life. CC was aware he liked both girls and guys. Ashley didn’t sleep with just anyone, he was meticulous about who he was with and all the girls who followed him off to the bar or bus only got to party with him. CC had figured it out at the beginning, if his friend was not in a relationship then he stayed within the safety net of people he trusted.

Ashley wanted to cry. He took such an amazing moment and ruined it with his worries. He dropped his head down onto CC’s shoulder and let his hair fall in his face to shield him. “I like guys and the most I’ve done is kiss. I don’t like the idea of jumping into things when I’m not ready, I want the right person,” he said.

“I didn’t know,” CC said softly. He released Ashley’s hands, so he could hug him. “I respect that, Ashley. I would never use you. I don’t like guys, I want to be clear about that. I’m attracted to you only and when you’re ready we can do more. I’m new to this too,” CC said.

He let the words sink in. He wasn’t thinking about CC, who was new to this kind of relationship. Ashley was only thinking about his own anxieties. He liked CC a lot and he should have considered how they would be exploring this together. The idea of being naked with CC made Ashley’s mind race in multiple directions from excited to terrified.

“Okay, you’re to quiet. It’s your turn,” CC said trying to change the subject.

Ashley cleared his throat. “I dare you to take four shots,” he said quietly.

“FOUR SHOTS! You didn’t even give me a choice,” CC said. He knew he forced Ashley to tell him a truth which was fair. He also made Ashley take shots. CC groaned as he pulled away from the smaller man to grab the whiskey. CC studied the bottle in his hand before he took four gulps of whiskey. He had a shiver running down his spine as the whiskey trailed its way to his stomach and he was thankful they ate Del Taco earlier.

The bassist was finally smiling again, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey from CC’s hand and took a gulp. “Lose your pants too,” Ashley demanded.

“Why, you're not ready to rush into things,” CC said stupidly as he flopped down onto the mattress to wiggle his way out of his pants. They cuddled and slept in less clothing than they were in now. CC realized his comment could discourage Ashley who was being rather insecure about them.

Ashley rolled his eyes and took another drink from the whiskey bottle. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to level the playing field when we make out,” he said coyly.

“Slow up on the whiskey, lil’ mama,” CC said grabbing the bottle and taking a drink for himself. He was aware that Ashley was nervous. His friend was trying to get a light buzz to prevent further embarrassing himself by sharing random facts. He found Ashley’s awkwardness attractive. It was always fun to watch his friend flounder when people complimented him.

Ashley grabbed the bottle back from him and put it aside. His stomach was turning from nerves and he couldn’t take another shot of Maker’s without throwing up. CC was sitting upright now devoid of his pants. He grinned and waited for Ashley to comment. Unfortunately, the words were caught in the smaller man’s throat as he tried to process what the next move was.

“Truth or dare?” CC asked.

“Truth,” Ashley said ruffling his hair. He pushed his bangs away from his face as he stared back at his friend.

CC had so many questions and he wanted to ask every single one. He instead picked something that would make Ashley happy. They’d been working their way up to this moment. All their innocent kisses that were friendly affection were leading to their first kiss. It was exactly how CC expected it to turn out, sweet and to the point. A gentle nudge back to affection would hopefully distract Ashley from overthinking. “Do you want to make out?” he asked.

Ashley was thankful that CC chose something that didn’t involve talking. His usual easy-going personality was being disrupted. He didn’t like that he was overthinking things he liked to do regularly. CC took control by lightly pushing him back against the mattress and Ashley complied. He relaxed and uncrossed his legs to allow CC space to situate himself on top.

“Is this okay?” CC asked. He was laying between Ashley’s legs and propped himself up with his elbow. His head rest in his right hand and his free hand lightly traced patterns on Ashley’s clothed chest. CC was aware certain body parts were touching and things would probably get heated, either way being respectful was his intention. “If I do something you don’t like tell me,” he added.

The smaller man gave a weak smile. He appreciated that CC was being considerate though he didn’t intend to dislike anything connected to his friend. Ashley made the fatal mistake of rolling his hips and got a look from the drummer. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in embarrassment.

CC’s expression softened. He knew it was going to be intimate and he couldn’t fault Ashley for doing something that was a natural motion to start. “Don’t be sorry. Your hips joined the party. Now, calm down and enjoy this,” CC said pressing his lips to Ashley.

He loved the way Ashley kissed. It was patient and sensual. There was no rush, everything was savored. CC moved with Ashley’s natural flow. He enjoyed every sound his friend made as they kissed and touched each other freely. Ashley tangled his fingers into CC’s hair as he pulled him closer. There was a small fight for dominance which had the drummer lifting the smaller man up from the mattress. CC nipped at Ashley’s lip as he pulled him upright.

“Ow,” Ashley squeaked as he ran his tongue over his lip. The taste of blood made him cringe.

CC grinned at him deviously. “I’m sorry,” he said pecking a bunch of kisses to Ashley’s lips.

Ashley wrapped his legs around CC’s waist and pulled them closer together. “Truth or dare?” he whispered.

“Dare baby,” CC said as he resumed the kiss.

Ashley had to come up with a dare quickly. CC’s lips were trailing away from his lips and down his neck. His mind went blank as he tried to concentrate. Each movement and kiss made Ashley’s mind fuzzy and unable to think clearly. “I can’t think of a dare! You’ve wrecked my brain,” he groaned.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” CC asked. He loved that Ashley started to blush over the question.

Ashley’s arms wrapped around CC’s neck and he pressed a firm kiss to his lips. “Yah, I do,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The awkward dance of feelings! 
> 
> enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

They had to hold off on their first date.

CC felt terrible when he threw his drumstick side stage jokingly only to hit Ashley in the face. It was his moment to show off to their audience and his crush. He drummed with all the passion he had pent up and he was lost in the music. He was in complete bliss as Ashley stood side stage watching him and he threw the stick thinking his friend would catch or dodge it.

Unfortunately, Ashley was complete enamoured by CC’s drum solo he didn’t see the stick being thrown at him though he felt it hit him in the face. It was funny to all the other band members until Ashley teared up and his eye swelled. He was more upset because it surprised him and scared the shit out of him. The pain was minimal even if his eye swelled shut. That didn’t stop CC from apologizing profusely. He apologized with kisses, words, and even flowers. The bouquet of flowers CC ordered promised a custom-made Hello Kitty flower which seemed to please Ashley a lot.

Ashley threatened to kick him in the knee if he didn’t stop apologizing. It was an accident and he was over the initial shock. Every second CC’s voice filled the silence with an apology. Even as they excused themselves for some private time in their bunk.

“I won’t do it again,” CC said kissing Ashley’s cheek.

The bassist was ready to push CC out of his bunk and it took all his strength to not give into temptation. “I’m done hearing that you’re sorry. It was an accident and my eye is fine,” Ashley growled.

“I hit you in the face. How can I make that up to you?” CC asked for the hundredth time in a week.

“Take me on the fucking date and quit thinking I am mad,” Ashley snapped. He didn’t mean to be angry but even he had a limit. CC was overly sweet and caring which made him feel loved. The constant need to talk about what happened was bringing out his grumpy personality. He rolled onto his side and stared at the wall of his bunk. He tried to count to ten and calm down before he said something mean.

CC wasn’t used to getting the cold shoulder from someone. Especially when that someone was his best friend. He shuffled up against Ashley’s backside and wrapped his arm around his waist. “You sound quite mad,” CC said matter-of-factly.

“I’m not,” Ashley said stressing each word.

“CC, if you value your life stop asking,” Jake yelled from his bunk.

In CC’s world being a gentleman and respectful was important. He wanted Ashley to feel the way he did. Sometimes he was good at expressing himself while other times he struggled. His ‘too much’ genre made him keep apologizing even when Ashley threatened to kick him. He managed to bring out the bassist’s bad side while still being permitted to cuddle. All the girls he dated usually wouldn’t let him have physical contact with them after he pissed them off. Ashley kindly allowed CC the pleasure of being affection as if it were a test.

He’d put a lot of thought and consideration into their first date. CC didn’t want to get drunk, it seemed to undermine the whole purpose of them going the next level. Sitting in a restaurant was fine and dandy except they did that a lot already. CC researched the latest movies, concerts, and sporting events which could easily impress Ashley. He decided after days of consideration that the arcade that was across from the beach would be perfect. It was a meaningful way for them to go out together and do something fun. The perfect excuse to further their bond and end the night off with some romance. A walk on the beach maybe stargaze? Ashley loved the stars and talked about the Missouri night skies a lot when he was missing home. CC had known him long enough that when he started talking about his rural, small town life that he was getting restless.

If he could fly Ashley out to Missouri for the day, he would but his only choice really came down to the arcade or possibly bowling. They had one day off in Los Angeles and most of the guys were heading home for the day. The thought of asking Ashley over to his place for a movie and cuddles would have been his last choice. It was Andy who advised CC not to go with his last resort date. It seemed Ashley’s anxiety about rushing things had him singing like a canary to Andy.

CC pretended he didn’t know about Ashley's conversation with Andy. It honestly didn’t surprise him. Being stuck on the bus with limited WIFI meant they didn’t text a lot of people. Ashley’s obsession with being private about his life would prevent him from contacting any of his friends. Their band mates were aware something was going on and their secret was safe with them. Their friends were supportive unless they were making out in the lounge. They spent a lot of time in their bunks hiding away like the best keep secret in Black Veil Brides history.

“Are you going to shave your face for our date?” CC asked. He wanted to tease Ashley while breaking the silence.

Ashley didn’t laugh. He instead rolled his eyes and continued to stare at the wall. “You probably expect me to shave something else,” he said bitterly.

“No, we’ve talked about this. You’re setting the pace for us,” CC reiterated. They discussed this almost daily that Ashley was the one in control and could make the decisions. Getting his friend past this whole ‘I’m not easy and I don’t want to be used’ stage was difficult. It made him wonder if something happened to cause such insecurity. Ashley wasn’t an insecure person which made it even more concerning.

There was no response from Ashley.

“I am here because I like you and want to be around you. Sex is a secondary thing. Whatever is going through your head, remember that you are in control,” CC said kissing the back of Ashley’s head.

Ashley breathed in a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

_It’s so easy to say you’re in control but you don’t feel like you have it._

He buried his face more into his pillow. The feeling of CC’s arms around him made him feel safe and claustrophobic at the same time. He willed himself to stay as calm as possible. This conversation was dangerous grounds. His mind was racing as it tried to rationalize everything.

_He will want to know what causes the anxiety. He’ll keep asking. He’s setting boundaries to make you feel safe._

_Why is it so hard to accept that this guy is different?_

The voice that echoed through his head was a calmer version of himself. It presented him questions and waited for answers. It wasn’t malicious or taunting. It only asked why he feared someone he trusted.

_He’s touching your right now. Your anxiety of people- guys touching you without permission is not present here. He has boundaries set up. He’d protect you._

“I know,” Ashley rasped out. He was answering his own conclusion, but it seemed to fit with CC’s remark too.

CC loosened his hug a bit to allow Ashley some space. He sensed from his body language and quiet demeanor that he was not okay. “Someday will you talk to me about this?” CC asked.

“Nothing to talk about. I’m feeling anxious that’s all,” Ashley replied. He didn’t have the strength to talk to CC about his anxieties right now. He feared he’d break down into tears or never stop talking once he started. “Chris, can I have some time alone?” Ashley asked feeling instantly guilty.

It was such a simple request. One that CC would permit Ashley. That didn’t mean he didn’t worry about his friend’s wellbeing. Ashley made no secret that he got anxious sometimes. There were certain things he openly talked about with the band. This was obviously not one of those times. CC wondered if it was his fault that Ashley was anxious. The thought that it was his fault weighed on him enough he had to know. “Am I the reason?” he asked meekly.

Ashley rolled over in CC’s arms to allow himself to look at him. There was an expression of concern on the drummer’s face. His eyes were looking back at him with sincerity and admiration. CC’s voice was a dynamic change from his usually cheerful, loud voice. “No, I’m feeling down. You didn’t do anything to cause it,” Ashley said softly.

“You’d tell me if I did, right?”

“Of course,” Ashley said. He gave CC a kiss on the lips. He appreciated that his friend put so much care into their relationship. He didn’t want CC to think it was his fault because it wasn’t. It was Ashley’s own insecure mind that was hurting him.

CC returned the kiss and released Ashley from his grasp. “If you miss me I won’t be far,” CC teased as he exited the bunk. He drew the curtain and left the bassist to his thoughts.

Ashley was grateful to have some time to himself. He wanted to let CC in. He longed to explain everything that was wrong and caused him to be anxious. He need space to clear his head. He couldn’t imagine laying beside CC as he cried. He didn’t want their relationship to start with him being an emotional wreck. It should grow upon the basis of honesty and trust. Ashley lay in his bunk and closed his eyes once again. He blocked out the sounds on the bus and willed himself to rationalize his thoughts.

_CC won’t hurt you._

_The only person that will hurt you is yourself._

It was hard for CC to be alone. He was used to spending all his time with Ashley and the only place he could really go was the lounge. Jinxx acknowledged him and they watched Lord of The Rings together until Ashley emerged from his bunk wearing his glasses. He looked worn out and was wrapped up in one of CC’s sweaters. He had on a pair of Rockford monkey socks as he shuffled his way over to CC.

“We’re about to start The Two Towers. Do you want to watch it with us?” Jinxx asked politely.

Ashley nodded. He took the available seat next to CC and rest his head on his shoulder.

“Feeling better, Ashes?” CC asked. He intertwined their fingers as they sat together. It’d been almost three hours since they parted, he hoped Ashley was in higher spirits. CC could tell that space only did a little justice and it was up to him to make things better.

“Is your cold back?” Jinxx inquired.

CC allowed Ashley the chance to answer but he stayed silent. “You just feel a little blue and that’s okay,” he said cheerfully.

“My glasses are blue,” Ashley said above a whisper.

Jinxx, Ashley, and CC stayed up all night watching The Lord of The Rings trilogy. By the end of the third movie the bus had rolled into Los Angeles. That meant they would have thirty-six hours to enjoy their freedom before boarding the bus again. Everyone fled the bus with their suitcases in tow. There were no parting words except for CC and Ashley’s. They were trying to separate themselves with the promise to see each other later in the afternoon.

If CC thought Ashley needing three hours alone to sort out his thoughts was lonesome, having to go home to his apartment was something else. Saying goodbye was nearly impossible as he hugged Ashley and smothered him in kisses. His return home was quiet with his first goal to get some sleep. He flopped down onto his bed and set an alarm before dozing off.

Ashley was completely different. He got home to start doing laundry and packing his suitcase. He had a long shower and took his time sorting through his clothes. It was ridiculously early in his world, he was only awake at 6:30 AM when they were boarding planes. He was tired but to awake to sleep. He wanted to text his friend to ask about dropping off his dogs and cat though he dismissed the idea since he was back on tour the next day. Ashley opted for a cup of Sleepy Time tea and curled up into bed. It didn’t matter how he propped the pillows, wrapped his leopard print blanket around himself, or stretched out on his queen-sized bed; he couldn’t fall asleep.

Staying up late was a mistake.

He rolled around his bed until 8:30 AM when it hit him.

“Fuck,” Ashley groaned as he grabbed his phone to text CC. The reason he couldn’t sleep was due to a lack of human contact. He was used to sleeping next to CC now. He sent a short text and put his phone back onto the night stand.

The phone buzzed two minutes later.

 **CC:** Awake now. What’s wrong?

 **Ash:** I can’t sleep.

 **CC:** What would help?

 **Ash:** Come over? You could get ready at my place for our date. Bring all your stuff for tour and stay with me.

 **CC:** I still need to do laundry.

 **Ash:** I’ll do your laundry, now would you please come over? I can’t sleep without you.

It was hard to argue when Ashley was offering to do his laundry. CC got himself out of bed and quickly dug through his suitcase for things he did and didn’t want. He picked something to wear for the date and was dragging his suitcase back out of his apartment. CC had never been inside Ashley’s new house. He’d dropped him off after a night out but was never invited inside. Ashley had moved before tour.

The drive took half an hour and when he finally arrived, Ashley was waiting up for him.

“How much laundry do you have?” Ashley asked. All formalities were forgotten as he welcomed CC in.

CC shrugged. It was a little after nine and he was ready to go back to sleep. Playing twenty questions with Ashley was holding back his chance to sleep. “Whatever is in my suitcase. I kind of sorted it out,” he said.

Ashley accepted the answer and didn’t bother CC further. He pointed him in the direction of his bedroom while he put a load of laundry in the washer. Ashley found CC face down on his bed and already asleep. He crawled onto the bed and lay his head down on his friend’s back. He listened to CC breathe, the rise and fall of his friend’s back was soothing as Ashley drifted off.

They only woke up because Ashley realized the laundry needed to go into the dryer. He jolted awake like a man being shocked which startled CC. The drummer blinked excessively as he tried to figure out where he was. The room was dim, and he heard foot steps on the stairs.

“It’s four,” Ashley announced when he came back into the room minutes later.

CC groaned, “Fine…I’ll shower.”

“We don’t have to go out,” Ashley said meekly. He sat back down on the bed. The drummer was making a mess of his greasy hair as he grumbled about getting up. He was used to CC not being a ‘morning’ person. His friend was nocturnal and always the last one up.

Even though he was tired, CC grabbed hold of Ashley’s hand and pressed a firm kiss to it. “We’re going on our first date. Unless you’re still feeling down?” he said cautiously.

“I got into my head to much yesterday,” Ashley said softly. He liked CC kissing his hand, it was something he was going to have fond memories of. “I’m in a better head space right now. I promise,” he added.

CC was pleased with that answer. He wanted to ask more about what caused Ashley to get upset. The idea of wrapping his arms around Ashley and talking through his anxieties was something he’d willingly do. He stared at Ashley whose hair was a wavy mess. He chewed at his lip and stopped when he realized he was being watched. A small closed mouth smile formed on his face though he didn’t say anything. “If you ever need or want to talk I’m here,” CC said pressing a kiss to the inside of Ashley’s wrist next.

Ashley wanted to lay all his feelings out all at once. They were in a safe place, laying in his bed, and it was only them. There were no prying eyes and listening ears. No reason to speak in hushed tones because they needed privacy while crammed into a bunk or dressing room corner. He thought about it for a moment as CC kept kissing his wrist. The moment was perfect, he didn’t want to ruin it. The invitation was there if he needed it. “What are we going to do?” Ashley said instead.

“It’s a surprise,” CC said cheekily.

That was their cue to start getting ready.

Ashley’s bathroom wasn’t big enough for them both to stand in front of the mirror which presented some challenges. They stepped around each other as they both sorted out their hair and make up. Ashley fussed with his hair until CC offered to straighten the back out for him.

“Someone didn’t get enough sleep,” CC teased lightly.

The smaller man laughed at the comment. He was starting to get frustrated with the waves in his hair that kept hiding under the straightened bits. Even clipped up and straightened in sections proved to be difficult. His hair had a mind of its own and he had a bad case of bedhead. CC picked up the straightener once it was slammed down on the small bathroom counter in annoyance. Ashley appreciated the gentleness CC had as he started to straighten his hair out for him.

“You don’t have to be perfect for me,” CC said carefully pulling the flat iron through Ashley’s thick hair. “I understand that you’re a perfectionist and I see you get frustrated a lot when things don’t meet your expectations. You don’t get stressed out unless you know you need to impress someone. I’m impressed trust me.”

Ashley didn’t realize how badly he needed to hear that. He was more bubbly than usual and all those previous worries from the day before faded away. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, staring back at him was his slightly smudged eyeliner. He’d lost his patience to do mascara because CC kept poking or tickling his sides. He could see CC behind him happily helping him with his hair and preventing a melt down. “Too sweet for your own good,” Ashley quietly remarked.

“It’s all the candy.”

CC couldn’t stop staring at Ashley as he got dressed. The smaller man wiggled his way into his skin tight ripped blue jeans. He glanced over his shoulder and CC instantly looked anywhere else. He decided he stared long enough at Ashley’s backside and needed to get dressed. His towel was still wrapped around his waist as he slowly came to life after his short sleep. Within minutes, CC could tell he was being watched from the stairs as he stripped in the hallway. Ashley’s laughter reminded him of the munchkin laughs from Wizard of Oz. He couldn’t see him but he heard him.

They had to make a Starbucks run. Ashley had no coffee in his house or food for that matter. CC had hinted that Ashley should dress warm before they left. There was only a little protest from Ashley as he went upstairs to put a plaid shirt over his gray tank top. They got their coffee then fries. The minute Ashley said he wanted to eat something greasy, CC was invested in the idea.

CC didn’t know if he was going to get any of the fries they ordered. It seemed the moment the bag was handed over to Ashley he didn’t intend to share. He didn’t know it was possible for someone to make eating a French fry sexy, it seemed to be a talent only his friend had. Out of the kindness of his heart, Ashley fed him fries as they drove to their destination. “This is the modern-day version of someone feeding a royal grapes,” Ashley said shoving another fry into CC’s mouth.

“I like that. You consider me to be high and mighty,” CC boasted.

Ashley chuckled and ate another fry. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Cleopatra,” he said.

It surprised Ashley the moment they pulled up a familiar arcade. He recognized the arcade because they’d been there once before. They were burning time before meeting Andy and spent their time playing Pac-Man. The beach was right across from the arcade and it all made sense. Ashley smiled as CC parked his truck.

“Beach walk or arcade first?” CC asked.

The wind was a bit brisk as they exited the car and Ashley was suddenly thankful that CC urged him to put on an extra layer under his leather jacket. “Let’s go for a walk first,” Ashley suggested.

CC offered Ashley his hand as they walked towards the beach. They walked hand in hand near the water even if it was a bit chilly. The odd passer by gave them a look which didn’t sit well with CC. He sensed Ashley’s tension as he adjusted his glasses onto his nose though he gave a small smile and kept walking along. Their adventure led them to a quiet spot to sit and Ashley rest his head on CC’s shoulder. It was beautiful to watch the changing sky and the waves roll in, even when they fell into a comfortable silence while enjoying each others company.

Ashley knew CC was not impressed with people staring at them as they held hands. “There will always be someone who decides to stare,” he said tenderly. Ashley nuzzled his cheek against CC’s shoulder even though it was awkward with his glasses on.

“You’re pretty beautiful. I have a tough time not staring at you,” CC chuckled. He understood what Ashley was saying and agreed. It seemed easier not to taint the start of their first date with worries that the public didn’t approve of them.

A blush rose to Ashley’s cheeks. It was nearly impossible to prevent his widest grin over the compliment. “People will call us ugly things sometimes. They’ll stare and spew hatred. That won’t change how I feel about you though. I am proud of being able to hold your hand and kiss you,” he freely admitted.

“It wouldn’t change how I feel either. People can hate us if they want,” CC said tightening his grip on Ashley’s hand.

“CC, the reason I was upset yesterday was over an anxiety I have. I don’t want to keep secrets. The few times I kissed guys they were a bit handsy. Nothing happened but I get anxious sometimes when people touch me. I start thinking I’m not good enough or I’m going to be used. I say stupid things because I’m worrying that I’m not truly in control. I don’t feel in control even though I know I am,” Ashley rambled. The idea of admitting this to CC now felt better than waiting. The moment was right, he didn’t think he was ruining their date by talking about it. They were talking about their relationship.

A cool wind blew over the water and sent a chill down CC’s spine. Ashley’s honesty was similarly chilling. The smaller man’s body language was relaxed as he talked about the one thing holding them back. Knowing he wasn’t the direct cause made it easier for CC to turn his head to press a kiss to Ashley’s forehead. “Would a word make it easier to feel like you have control? You know that I respect you and your body, right? Telling me this means a lot to me. I want us to trust each other and I meant what I said that you can talk to me,” CC said reassuringly.

“I don’t need a word for you. I trust you would respect the simplicity of no. I really like you, Chris. Thanks for having patience while dealing with me” Ashley said. He lifted his head from CC’s shoulder to place a loving kiss to his cheek.

CC had butterflies over Ashley’s last statement. It was amazing what a day did for their relationship and he was grateful for the time he got to spend with Ashley. “Do you want head over to the arcade?” he asked. He was starting to get cold even though the small man beside him was radiating a lot of heat.

“Can we stay a little long?” Ashley replied. He wanted to enjoy their freedom a little bit longer. The minute they boarded the bus again they had less alone time together. This moment would be a little piece of home and CC.

“Of course, Ashes.”

Ashley rest his head back on CC’s shoulder and watched the sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The insecurity tango!.  
> Beach and Arcade are actually based off a small town back home. It's beautiful and when I was writing this it kept coming to mind.  
> Happy Reading!


	4. Chapter 4

“Stop,” Ashley moaned loudly.

CC groaned but withdrew his hands from his friend’s backside. They had their own dressing room at this venue which permitted them two hours of freedom before the show. New rules had been made on the bus that prevented them from being overly touchy in front of the others. They ended up in a make out session which turned into a groping fest on the bus couch. Things were getting heated between them and Ashley was more relaxed. When they had free days, Ashley and CC went on dates together. When they got alone time on the bus or in the venue they were glued to one another.

“After the show,” Ashley whispered. He pulled CC back against himself and rolled his hips. “I’m ready for us to take the next step.”

He was starting to dislike that Ashley was being a tease. The surge of confidence and communication in their relationship was giving CC a bad case of blue balls. Ashley would give him fair warning when his anxiety was starting then they navigated their way through the situation. He wasn’t worrying about being used or stating he was not easy lately. It seemed all their dates and small touching games were helping Ashley with his insecurities. CC had no complaints. Being allowed to touch each other more freely was the fun part about Ashley crawling into his bunk even if they still had boxers on. “Mm, I was thinking maybe you would like to be my boyfriend first?” CC said casually. It had been almost seven weeks of going out with each other. It seemed like the right time to ask Ashley.

CC nearly melted when he saw the look on Ashley’s face. It was glowing over the question and his eyes were sparkling too.

“Yah, I mean yes,” Ashley said. He was vibrating from the sheer joy of being CC’s. He wasn’t disappointed that CC beat him to the question. Ashley started to hesitate whenever he thought it was an appropriate time to ask and his latest fear was being rejected. While other fears dissolved new ones appeared. Ashley stood on his tip toes and kissed CC lightly. He didn’t want things to get heated again before they got on stage, it could be saved for later.

Their kiss was cut short by Jake slamming his fist on the door to warn them that they needed to get ready.

CC was eager for the show to end. Even as he drummed and played his favorite songs all he could think about was Ashley. He looked up from his drum set to find his boyfriend prancing around like he always did. His sinfully sharp hips swayed as he walked. His eyes could visibly trace each one of Ashley’s muscles and all the sharp points where his bones jutted out a bit. CC could mentally outline all of Ashley’s tattoos now. If someone asked him to find a certain one, he was sure he could locate it on his boyfriend’s arms. Then there was Ashley’s legs, those thin legs that were tightly wrapped in leather pants. Those legs wrapped perfectly around CC’s waist and he longed to kiss the insides of Ashley’s thighs once the show was over.

The minute the show ended Ashley didn’t stand a chance. CC lightly wrapped his hand around his thin wrist and led him back towards their dressing room. He released Ashley’s wrist once they were safely in their dressing room and the door was locked.

“You have a crazy look,” Ashley snickered. CC was jittery and giving him the once over. “Don’t even think about it,” Ashley warned as he allowed his boyfriend to back him up against the wall. He wanted his clothes to stay in tact and not get torn off him. Calloused fingers gently traced their ways up his arms and CC placed a soft kiss to his nose.

“I can stop,” CC said. He put his hands up in plain view to reassure Ashley he wouldn’t touch him without consent.

Ashley reached out to take hold of CC’s hands and pull them back to his body. “I trust you just go slow,” he said. He was ready to give up the barrier of their boxers. CC respected Ashley’s pace for nearly two months. He pulled CC’s hands easily to his hips and left the rest up to his boyfriend.

“We don’t have to do this here,” CC offered. He was sure he could convince the guys to let him have an hour alone on the bus if the dressing room wasn’t good enough. He didn’t want Ashley to feel anxious for any reason as they took the next step.

The concern made Ashley even fonder of CC. He strived to make every moment between them as contented as possible. It didn’t matter if the bunk was cramped or there wasn’t that much room on the small lounge couch, CC made Ashley fit easily into his life. No sacrifice was to great. “As long as I am with you it’s perfect,” he said softly.

“You’re sure about this? You know there is no rush for us. You’re in control, baby,” CC said accidently allowing a cringe worthy pet name slip out. It didn’t seem to phase Ashley who was guiding his hand down to the growing bulge in his leather pants. CC adored the way his boyfriend looked up innocently at him.

Ashley moaned when CC’s rubbed his hand over his dick. The tight constricts of his leather pants made it ever hotter as his boyfriend touched him. “I can’t cum in these pants. I need to wear them tomorrow,” Ashley moaned again. He rocked his hips. He glanced through half lidded eyes at his boyfriend who was having fun teasing him.

“Well,” CC said flicking the button on Ashley’s pants and slowly dragging down the zipper. “I wouldn’t want you to ruin your pants. I happen to really like these pants on you,” he whispered. CC started to pull at the leather that clung like a second skin to Ashley’s body. Every moan was cherished as the pants were pulled down only to get stuck on Ashley’s thighs.

“Leather is a bitch,” Ashley laughed as he toed off his cowboy boots and wiggled his way out of his pants. He needed to wear the pants in an interview and appreciated CC’s love for them. He was even more excited for his boyfriend to see his underwear.

CC’s mouth went dry when he saw the tight fitted black underwear that hugged Ashley’s hips. He ran his fingers over the soft fabric and marvelled in how his boyfriend could make anything sexy. His light touches made Ashley quiver and moan. They never had their underwear off in front of each other though CC knew what his boyfriend was packing. Ashley dropped his head back against the wall, exposing his neck as he looked desperately at CC. He worried his bottom lip because he was overly sensitive.

“You can touch me,” Ashley said desperately. He’d been holding off on touching himself since he started seeing CC. He wanted their first time to be somewhat special in his mind. He was working in ‘virgin territory’ and wanted every part of it to be special between them. “I trust you,” Ashley begged.

Ashley pushed CC’s hand to the waistband of his boxers and waited.

“Chris, I-“

CC didn’t let Ashley finish his sentence as he pushed his hand past the waist band of the boxer and took hold of his boyfriend’s dick. “Were you saying something?” he teased. CC blindly ran his hand up the expanse of stiff flesh that elicited a moan from Ashley. It was the kind of moan that was beautiful, CC wanted him to keep singing for him in that way.

Ashley knew he wasn’t going to last long and he desperately pulled at CC’s pants. He didn’t want them not to both enjoy this moment together. He straightened up a bit and captured CC’s lips in a heated kiss. Ashley got his hand down the front of CC’s boxer and tried to catch up to the pace that was being set.

It soon became a race of who come undone first. They kissed each other hungerly as if they might never kiss again. Ashley shook against CC and moaned desperately onto his boyfriend’s lips. It was the drummer who picked up the pace to be a tease.

“I’m gonna,” Ashley whispered breathlessly as he broke the kiss.

CC leaned his forehead against Ashley’s. “Cum for me, Ash,” he replied. His hand gripped his boyfriend’s dick harder as he pumped faster. It didn’t take much to push Ashley over the edge. He let out a long string of profanity as he quivered against CC. “I’ve got you,” CC said lovingly.

Ashley felt light headed but he tended to CC’s needs. He kept his hand moving even if he was completely out of it because of his orgasm.

“Like that. Keep going lil’ mama,” CC groaned. He was losing his mind over the sensation of Ashley’s hand on his dick. It was exactly what he expected. It only took a few more strokes before CC himself came. He lazily kissed Ashley on the lips and caught his breath.

“Why do you call me lil’ mama?” Ashley breathed out tiredly.

CC laughed at the question. It was a nickname he always had for Ashley. One that fit his boyfriend’s caring nature. “Because you’re such a loving and caring person. I see how you treat others and care for our band,” CC said kissing Ashley again.

The answer satisfied the bassist and he pulled CC towards the shower.

There was a lot of snickering as they boarded the bus. Jinxx elbowed Jake and gave him a look. The kind that said everyone knew what they were doing. Andy gave them a nod before taking a seat on the available lounge couch.

“We heard your pretty voice, Ashley,” Jake remarked. He was grinning in his taunting way. Jinxx elbowed him again and shook his head as if he were disappointed in Jake’s comment.

Color rose to Ashley’s cheeks as he made his way quickly to his bunk.

“He’s always had a pretty voice. Why do you think he sings back vocals?” CC said in his usual booming way. He followed Ashley towards their bunks and watched which one his boyfriend picked. They tended to alternate which bunk they slept in. When Ashley wanted space, he’d go to his bunk- it was rare but it happened. CC wouldn’t push the topic to much when Ashley needed space. The only reason he wanted space was to read or work on his clothing line.

Ashley toed off his cowboys again and tossed them into his bunk. He was comfortably wrapped in CC’s sweater, a pair of black joggers, a gray tank, and his favorite cozy socks. “Coming to bed or staying up for a bit?” Ashley asked curiously.

“Staying up for a bit. Are you okay with that?” CC asked. He kissed the corner of Ashley’s mouth and continued to be sweet. He didn’t intend to skip out on cuddling, he was wide awake and would keep Ashley up watching YouTube videos. It happened a lot. He would lay in their bunk and laughing which would eventually bother his boyfriend. Sometimes he could convince Ashley to watch with him and other times it was clear it was bed time.

“Don’t be to long,” Ashley whispered. “I might be interested in a second round.”

The next morning Andy and Ashley went shopping before their interview. That left CC and the guitarists behind. They were engaging in a game of cards when Jake finally asked the pressing question.

“How was the sex?”

CC dropped his cards down onto the table in frustration over the intrusive question. “It wasn’t sex and everything I do with Ashley is great,” he said defensively.

“Wait you guys still haven’t done it?” Jinxx asked. His question was laced with concern and curiosity.

“There is no rush. We’re working on things at his pace,” CC replied.

Both the guitarists put their cards down and stared at him. Jinxx was obviously trying to be a good friend while Jake was on a fishing expedition.

“At his pace? Ashley has a pace?” Jake remarked. He wasn’t thinking when he asked his question, the look CC was giving him made him aware his choice of words was not acceptable.

Jinxx lightly elbowed Jake in the ribs. He cast his typical warning gaze at his friend. “I think what Jake is asking is why there is need for a slower pace. He’s not implying anything, right?”

“No, I’m shocked because with girls he’s usually pants off in seconds,” Jake corrected.

CC narrowed his eyes. He didn’t like the line of questioning or the way that Jake kept hinting at Ashley being easy. “Maybe, he gets anxious about people touching him. He needs to be reassured that he is more than a body used for sex. Ash is working through his anxieties and whatever he needs from me as his boyfriend, I will give him,” CC said bitterly.

“Are you guys being intimate?” Jinxx asked.

All these questions made CC feel like he was being interrogated by his parents. It brought back memories of being a teenager and his parents thinking they needed to have the sex talk with him. He was beet red and somewhere between screaming at his friends or hiding his face from embarrassment. “Yes,” was all he could muster.

“CC, did something happen to Ash?” Jinxx asked cautiously. He only asked because he cared about his friends and if there was something they were doing he wanted to put a stop to it.

“No nothing like that,” CC said quickly. “A few guys groped him when they kissed and it made him feel like he was going to be used. He’s had some insecurities over being used for sex and being considered easy. That’s all, this kind of relationship is new for both of us. We both want it to be special between us.”

Jinxx nodded and picked up his cards signifying they were continuing the game. CC was thankful the questioning was over and prayed Ashley wasn’t being treated the same way.

Across town, Ashley and Andy walked through a sex shop hunting for some essential items.

“How about this?” Andy asked holding up pair of candy underwear.

Ashley cringe a little and took the box from Andy. He studied the picture on the box. Did he really want CC chewing his underwear off him? A horrible image came to mind of CC sitting on the couch eating the candy underwear after they had sex. “Not a chance,” Ashley said sticking his tongue out.

“How was last night?” Andy said pulling the box from Ashley’s hands.

A small devious smile lit up Ashley’s face. “It was just a hand job,” he said quietly.

“You’re all smiley and bubbly. It wasn’t just a boring ol’ hand job,” Andy countered.

Ashley moved to the next aisle to avoid acknowledging how happy he truly was. He was still riding the high from the night before. CC was like an addiction. He made Ashley feel safe and want to drop his guard. CC even laughed when he relayed stupid facts to him when he got complimented. In the next aisle, Ashley found himself face to face with cock rings. He’d originally wanted to find a pair of sexy underwear. Andy was the one who dragged him into the sex shop so they both could buy something for their partners.

“I know you enjoyed it both times,” Andy said holding up another item to show Ashley.

Ashley’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. He could see CC being immature with a whip. He didn’t want his boyfriend chasing him around a venue or the house with it. “Not my thing,” Ashley said grabbing a simple pink jelly cock ring.

Andy tucked the whip under his arm and moved along. “You won’t know until you try,” he joked.

“It’s not my thing okay?”

The venomous tone surprised Andy. He turned down the aisle that Ashley was in and looked at what his friend had in his hand. He suddenly felt rotten for pushing his friend’s buttons. It was intended to be a joke not to cause distress. “Ash, I was kidding. I see you found something,” he said.

“It’s nothing,” Ashley said. He gave Andy a reassuring smile that he wasn’t holding a grudge. He put more distance between them. The next aisle didn’t interest him and he moved further away from Andy. He wasn’t exactly sure he wanted to buy any toys. He didn’t want them tossed around the bus or dug out at the airport. He knew if he had to explain a vibrating butt plug to airport security he’d babble random facts that had nothing to do with the sex toy.

Andy respectfully gave his friend some space as he moved to the other side of the small shop. He kept finding things that would make his girlfriend happy. He watched Ashley at a distance and how he picked out another item. Andy ventured over to the wall that was ceiling to floor underwear. One corner dedicated to women and the other to men. He looked through the selection of women’s garments and picked a few items before digging through the men’s selection. Andy peaked over to Ashley and back to the wall. This was the one thing the bassist wanted to buy for CC. As he searched he found something that would interest Ashley.

Ashley sensed Andy’s presence as he picked out a few other items. He prayed that his friend wouldn’t verbally name the things nestled in his arms.

“I found something you might like,” Andy said softly. He understood that his friend had anxiety and there had been many times when Ashley sought him out to talk. He held up the black pleather boxers with little silver studs adorning it. “Wear your studded hat and you’ll be irresistible,” Andy added dropping the small underwear onto Ashley’s pile of stuff.

Watching Ashley blush violently was humorous to say the least. He didn’t say anything about the underwear and kept them in his pile. Andy returned with another pair soon after. He held them up in plain view for his friend. “It’s a thong but hear me out. Cowboy boots and your cowboy hat. It’ll drive CC wild,” Andy said snickering.

Ashley was silent as he took the next item Andy offered him.

“Are you feeling anxious?” Andy finally asked. He was getting uncomfortable as Ashley followed him around the store in silence. It was almost like he was being dragged around on a leash. They were nearing the final aisles of the store they had yet to explore and each of them had an arm full of stuff.

Ashley cleared his throat and looked down at all the stuff he had. “What if CC isn’t impressed by me dressing up for him?” he questioned.

“I’m not even into guys and I like the thought of you in that thong. This is just another step, right? There is no reason for you to question your boyfriend’s feelings for you. No rush, remember? Let’s get out of here before you get nervous at the till,” Andy said nudging Ashley’s shoulder. He was kind enough to take Ashley’s credit card and pay for the items to avoid the awkward encounter with the girl at the till. It never ceased to amaze Andy how his friend could be so calm then turn shy within seconds. It had always been a rollercoaster with Ashley though. Sometimes he got pacing before they had an interview and psyched himself out. Andy got good at talking to save Ashley from the interviewers when he wasn’t in a talking mood.

That was exactly how their interview went. Ashley froze up and didn’t want to talk. The whole drive back to the bus he chatted casually about his next date with CC. It somewhat annoyed Andy that he was stuck doing most of the interview but watching Ashley pace and fidget with his rings eventually got to him. He wasn’t cruel.

Their return seemed to be much needed as CC launched himself at Ashley and dragged him towards the bunks. It left everyone confused in the lounge. Out of earshot the boys poked fun at one another.

“Dear lord, their driving me mental,” CC said. Jake started making jokes at his expense most of the afternoon and Jinxx was mother henning him to death over eating candy.

Ashley bit at his lip and held up the black plastic bag. It seemed to shut up the rambling drummer and he eyed the bag curiously.

“Ashes?”

The smaller man gave a weak smile before speaking, “Give me a minute. There are two things I don’t want you to see yet.”

CC didn’t press the subject. He allowed Ashley time to stash away the things he didn’t want to share with him. They both crawled into CC’s bunk and sat cross-legged in front of each other. The curtain was drawn, and Ashley handed him the bag.

“You can easily change your mind,” Ashley mumbled. He brought his thumb up to his mouth to nervously chew at his fingernail.

The contents of the bag were dumped out onto the bed. The items surprised CC. He wondered what Andy and Ashley went shopping for and seeing all the sexual paraphernalia excited him. He picked up the purple vibrating butt plug and studied it. Imagining Ashley even paying for it caused him to snicker.

“I knew this would be a bad idea,” Ashley said contradicting himself.

CC put the toy down and rest his hand on his boyfriend’s knee. “I don’t think it was. I was imagining you paying for this stuff that’s why I laughed,” he said softly.

“Andy paid with my credit card,” Ashley said.

“Got a little anxious today?” CC asked. The last time Ashley got anxious over something he got nauseated. CC had to hold his hair back as he dry heaved in the bus bathroom. It wasn’t a space meant for two people which caused more panic because the bathroom seemed to small and CC was to close. Then there was the worry of throwing up in front of his boyfriend.

Ashley shrugged and didn’t look at him.

“What the hell is this?” CC asked holding up the pink cock ring. He had gotten distracted easily by the pink item in the gold packaging. “Some kind of fashion ring?”

A loud snort escaped Ashley. He couldn’t hold back the laughter or the odd snort that accompanied his manic laught.

“What? I don’t know what its for. It says Jelly Ring,” CC said confused. He didn’t understand what had Ashley in a fit while gripping his sides. All it looked like to him was a pink studded ring.

“You put it on your dick,” Ashley giggled.

CC’s cheeks heated up at the realization. “Well, that’s something,” he mused.

“You don’t have to use it if you don’t want too,” Ashley said grabbing the cock ring from his boyfriend. He didn’t want CC to feel like he was trying to force any of this stuff on him.

CC grabbed it back and grinned. “What if I wanted you to wear it?” he asked.

“I’d do it,” Ashley replied. He snagged the gold package from CC and held it out of his reach.

CC explored the rest of the items on his bunk mattress. He didn’t know what he expected but he was surprised that Ashley had picked them out essential items. It was simply a toy, cock ring, lube, and condoms. Whatever Ashley had hidden away must be for a special occasion. “No handcuffs?” CC joked.

Ashley shook his head and looked nervously back at him. “I’d be happier with you holding my hands above my head,” he admitted. Andy had a point about not knowing he’d like something without trying. He shook the doubtful thought from his head.

“I think that sounds more romantic actually,” CC said. The very thought of holding Ashley’s arms above his head and trailing his free hand's fingers against his inked skin was more intimate. The perfect connection.

“Simple is always better,” Ashley said. He craved the connection and bond that came from a relationship. There were the calculated moments of being frivolous and the times when that wasn’t what he wanted at all. Every single decision Ashley made was the right one or he tried to make sure it would be. He found enjoyment in the simplest of pleasures. Being able to spend time with someone he liked was more important than a whip or handcuffs.

CC ran his hand up Ashley’s arm sensually. “Want to try it out?” he asked coyly.

“What?” Ashley asked slightly confused.

The drummer started to pack all the items back into the bag and put them in a safe place in his bunk. Ashley watched him intently for an answer.

“What are we trying, Chris?”

CC lay back and stretched out his legs. Ashley took the hint to lay down with him. The smaller man rested his head on his boyfriend’s chest and waited for an answer. CC absentmindedly rubbed Ashley’s arm as they cuddled. “Do you want to try me holding your hands above your head?” he asked.

Ashley didn’t have any nagging feelings or doubts over CC’s question. For the first time in two months his mind was settled. There was no questioning his suggestion. CC’s words played through his head on repeat that this action would be romantic. Ashley ran his hand down to the front of CC’s pants and continued to tease his boyfriend as he considered the offer. He reminded himself that he was calm before answering.

“I think we should try it,” Ashley said confidently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little silly. I truly dedicate this chapter to my boyfriend. The first time we ever set foot in a sex shop he was confused by somethings and being deaf kept signing what he thought a cock ring was. It's a memory I will never forget because even after four years it's still funny trying to explain in ASL what it did.  
> Happy reading!


	5. Chapter 5

“Don’t touch me, please.”

Ashley held his hands up defensively and looked at CC rather confused. The drummer winced as he took a seat on the hotel bed. A pained sound escaped him as he tried to lay down. Ashley wasn’t used to CC having an acidic tone with him. “What’s wrong?” he asked meekly.

“Everything hurts,” CC said grumpily.

The smaller man stood frozen in his spot near the foot of the bed and observed. He retained the words his boyfriend said, he noticed the way CC looked defeated when he usually was happy and emitting positive vibes. Ashley didn’t want to anger him, he kept a safe distance away as he started to asked questions. “Can I do anything?” he asked.

“No,” CC shot back.

Ashley crossed his arms over his chest momentarily. He hated the attitude. When he was moody, he would be straightforward that he was in a bad mood. He would request alone time and not subject his boyfriend to his mood. Ashley understood this was physical pain not emotional or mental pain. He finally budged from his spot to walk over to CC’s side of the bed. His boyfriend was a pitiful sight and he was sympathetic of his pain. “Don’t be an ass. Tell me what hurts, I’ll give you a massage,” Ashley said.

“You can go lay down and leave me alone,” CC said.

“Why don’t you tack the word ‘woman’ onto the end of that statement,” Ashley said making air quotations. His tone came off more offended as his concerned look morphed into a scowl.

Ashley’s remark shocked CC. He dropped his cranky façade instantly. He was only in a bad mood because he slept awkwardly once he got some space in his bunk. He’d twisted his spine and later paid for it during the show. “I’m sorry, Ashes. My shoulders and upper back hurt,” he said.

“I don’t want to fight with you, CC. Nor am I going to let you treat me like shit,” Ashley warned. He wouldn’t tolerate being bullied by a partner. He didn’t like fighting or screaming. He feared that words could lead to worse things.

CC didn’t like fighting with people either unless it was for a defensive reason. Fighting with his boyfriend would not make him feel better. Ashley was offering to help him which he was grateful for. He reached out to grab his boyfriend’s hand only to have it pulled away lightly.

“I’m serious, I don’t want to get hurt,” Ashley said defensively.

He reached out again, this time he got a hold of Ashley’s wrist. CC made sure that he could pull his hand away if he was feeling threatened. “Ash, listen to me. You have nothing to worry about. I don’t want to fight either. If you still want to give me a massage I’d accept it,” CC replied.

Ashley chewed at his lip. He swayed in a nervous way like a shy child as he tried to decide what to do. His brown eyes were wide as he stared back at CC. “Yah, I still want too,” Ashley answered meekly.

CC wanted to ask how anxious his boyfriend was feeling. He sensed from Ashley’s sudden defensive tone to shyness that he was worrying about their discussion regarding fighting. Sometimes, he really did wonder if something happened to cause his boyfriend such distress in a situation. Jinxx had presented the question and it made CC lay awake some nights wondering. CC released his wrist to give him the ability to be physically unchained. Ashley had no reason to suddenly fear that him being in a bad mood would cause him to lash out. The very thought that his boyfriend said he didn’t want to get hurt put more worries in CC’s head. “Can you be honest with me?” he asked.

“Leave it alone, Chris.”

It was hard to leave any topic alone. Ashley was sometimes a mystery and CC longed to find answers to all his questions. “I didn’t even ask you the question,” he countered.

“I, it’s nothing. Shit happens, people hurt others. It’s not important, okay?” Ashley said getting defensive again. His body language was ridged and shrunken down as he spoke. His appearance gave away more than his cryptic words. “Can I just massage your back?”

CC opened his hand to his boyfriend. He was offering Ashley the choice to be comforted or continue to stand there putting up walls between them. All their progress was now replaced by this new-found paranoia about fighting. He could see Ashley struggling to decide. He could tell that it was an internal battle as he linked his fingers with his and allowed himself to be pulled towards the bed.

“I got hit for rejecting a guy. Don’t ask me anymore about it, please. Fighting isn’t something I agree with thus why I go elsewhere when I’m in a bad mood or inform you that’s how I feel. I never want us to get to a stage where we say horrible things or try to solve an issue by raising our hand,” Ashley rambled. “I feel stupid for being anxious. I want my brain to stop bringing up things from the past. Why can’t it stop ruining my happiness?” he asked CC.

“It’ll never get to that stage,” CC promised.

Ashley’s distressed look morphed into a different expression. “Andy Warhol had twenty-five cats named Sam,” he said. It’d been a while since he got nervous enough to start telling his boyfriend random facts which made him violently blush. “Why am I like this?!?” Ashley asked in frustration. He tried to hide behind his red cheeks.

“I happen to love your random facts. I’ve learned a lot about art and animals from you,” CC said. He found it cute that Ashley could get into such a shy headspace that he would forget they’d been friends longer than lovers.

Ashley wished he’d never opened his mouth. They were doing well in terms of his anxiety. The one guy to blame continued to haunt him years later when he finally found someone he did want to be in a relationship with. He didn’t want to sound like a tease or that he brought it upon himself, he was the one who went looking for the next step. He hated not being honest. There was no reason to have secrets between them. His anxiety stemmed from one terrible experience. As he willingly crawled onto the bed and straddled CC’s tiny hips, he decided he was done with ruining moments between them. He lightly played with a strand of CC’s hair as he felt his boyfriend’s hands find their usual place on his hips. “It was a guy I knew from back home. Things got heated the few times we were together then I realized that I didn’t want to do more with him. He made me uncomfortable, didn’t listen to me and couldn’t handle rejection. It ended with him saying I was a tease and I got hit because he was angry. I want to be completely honest and open with you. I’ve kissed a few others only to get my ass grabbed or called a tease. You deserve to know because you do so much to make me feel safe,” Ashley said. He was unable to make eye contact though he could feel CC’s eyes staring holes through him.

CC noticed how sad Ashley seemed over the admission. He hated the guys before him that didn’t respect the fact that his boyfriend said no or wanted them to stop. He hated them for calling Ashley a tease and the one that was aggressive. CC rubbed his thumbs against his boyfriend’s hips and gave him a reassuring smile. “You never deserved to be treated that way and I am sorry that it happened. Our relationship becomes stronger because you trust me enough to talk about what causes you to feel anxious,” CC said.

“I’ve told you everything now,” Ashley confirmed. He rolled away from his boyfriend to sit cross legged on the bed. A significant weight was lifted off his shoulders as he let CC’S words sink in. He put his hands in his lap as he waited for CC to decide what they were going to do. He was suddenly in a weirdly flirtatious state that he couldn’t explain. He was overcome by something that made him want to be naked with CC. That carnal urge had him crawling back towards his boyfriend to kiss him. He was losing control in all the right ways as he hungrily kissed CC.

The kiss was soon a battle of dominance though Ashley had an upper hand since CC was sore. “Mm, what’s up with you?” he asked between kisses. He liked this side of Ashley, he was worried this was him trying to compensate for their previous discussion and distract him.

“Does my gummy bear still need a massage?” Ashley purred.

CC cringed at the disgustingly sweet nickname. He deserved it after eating gummy bears in bed the night before. Ashley complained about finding candy stuck to him the next morning only to be grossed out when he offered to eat them off him. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked cautiously.

“There is something liberating about feeling in control and trusting someone,” Ashley said. He was rather uplifted. The fact that everything was out in the open made it easier for him to function normally. “Off with your shirt and pants,” Ashley demanded.

“Ashes, slow down. Can we talk?” CC asked as he gently pushed his boyfriend’s hands away.

Ashley pouted as he sat in his own space again. That didn’t quiet his urges to touch and be intimate. His mind was on overdrive. “What did I do?” he asked.

“Nothing, sweetheart. You told me something significant and I want to make sure you aren’t rushing. I feel like you are trying to distract me from what we just talked about,” CC said honestly.

A loud groan left Ashley’s lips. “That’s not my intention. I am genuinely in a good place and want to share that with you,” he grumbled. “Why is it when I suddenly get past my anxiety about something I get pushed back. I’m not trying to do anything but bond with you.”

CC sympathised. Ashley was an open, honest person and he understood how his boyfriend felt. He let his boyfriend pout and have space until he was in a better mood. CC was drifting off when Ashley finally came around. The smaller man was poking him while vying for his attention.

“Roll over,” Ashley said as he lightly pushed at his boyfriend’s arm.

The drummer groaned though he complied with Ashley’s demands and rolled onto his tummy. He kept his smart-ass comments to himself over his tank top being removed and how it would have been easier when he was on his back. The way Ashley’s hands trembled tipped him off that he was nervous and it would take one comment to unhinge him. CC listened to instructions and let Ashley do his thing. A pair of trembling, cold hands touched CC’s warm skin and caused him to jump.

“Can you chill out? You’re acting like I never touch you,” Ashley said sarcastically.

CC grimaced. “Your hands are cold! Worse than your feet and that’s saying something,” he whined.

“I can’t help that…the bus is cold and if my feet are cold then I am cold,” Ashley said. He placed his cold hands on CC’s sides and enjoyed his boyfriend’s squealing. He didn’t intentionally try to torment his boyfriend with his cold appendages, in the night he would eventually get to hot and pry his socks off, the result would be his feet getting cold again and using CC as heat source.

The drummer tried to wiggle away from his boyfriend’s hands only for a pain to run through his body. His shoulders seized up and made him more miserable.

Ashley didn’t say anything, only straddled CC’s butt and got himself comfortable. He rubbed his hands together even blew some warm air into his cupped hands to heat them up. He was gentle in his pursuit when he rest his hands on CC’s upper shoulders and started to knead away at the knotted flesh. He didn’t blame his boyfriend for being miserable, pain was something that made even the kindest of men cruel. “Your pain is mine and I would do anything to help you,” Ashley said. He meant it in the sincerest of ways.

“Has anyone every told you that you are really good at this?” CC asked. Ashley’s hands massaged between his shoulders and he was starting to feel relief flood through is body.

He’d heard the compliment before. His ex-girlfriend sang his praise over his ability to give a good massage. Hearing CC compliment him over something like this was major. It was confidence boosting for him. “No,” Ashley lied. He bit back a small smile and allowed the bubbly feeling to motivate him.

“You’re amazing,” CC praised.

Ashley continued to massage CC’s back all the while wondering if he should offer his boyfriend more. It seemed part of any couples’ massage to offer a happy ending, he didn’t know how to explain what he wanted to do. He figured that CC would be on edge over their conversation and put a damper on any attempts to get sexual for the rest of the night.

Sometimes, he wanted to argue with CC over his thorough nature. Ashley knew his own limits and got discouraged when he got held back. Though he could appreciate his boyfriend’s attempts to make him feel comfortable even if they needed to start exploring at a faster pace.

“Are you falling asleep on me?” Ashley questioned. He could tell from CC’s lack of jokes and talkativeness that he was at his most relaxed because of the massage.

CC was on the verge of sleep; Ashley’s massage was not only relieving his pain but lulling him into dreamland. “I might be,” he yawned.

Ashley kneaded out the last knot in CC’s back then sat back. Beneath him, his boyfriend was drifting off and making it impossible to ask his burning question. He admired CC for a moment before leaning down and pressing kisses between his shoulder. “I want to thank you for making me stop and think,” Ashley said emphasising each word with a kiss.

“Next time I won’t stop you,” CC promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last of Ashley's tensions are on the table.  
> CC and Ashley's adventure is about to get interesting.


	6. Chapter 6

CC knew he was pushing his luck.

Ashley had his back turned to him as he tried to rest. He’d warned CC twice that he had a headache and his eyes hurt too. During the show, Ashley’s headache persisted which only made him more miserable. He took Advil and drank all the available water in the dressing room. He removed his make up then took a shower, but nothing helped. The pressure in his eyes and head continued to be a problem even when he got onto the bus. CC cuddled up close to him in their bunk and tried his best to comfort him. He smoothed out Ashley’s hair, rubbed his back, and tried his best not to bother his boyfriend.

“You have to see this pug,” CC said absentmindedly. He kept forgetting that Ashley was not in the best of moods. He continued to try showing his boyfriend photos and videos by accident. Usually when they laid in bed, he could show Ashley a few videos before they went to sleep. Tonight, however was different.

Ashley groaned and tried to wiggle closer to the wall. “I’m going to my bunk if you don’t shut up,” he lightly threatened. His eyes were bound of roll straight out of his eye sockets from the amount of pain he was in. He suspected his headache was due to his contacts and congestion. The air quality in the bus eventually caught up with him and made his nose stuffy. Ashley didn’t want to be miserable or get out of bed for that matter, he was nestled in a blanket nest with CC’s body pressed up against his back.

“Sorry sweetheart. I forgot, won’t happen again,” CC said. He withdrew his phone away from Ashley and decided to try respecting his boyfriend’s wishes. He presses kisses to the back of Ashley’s head and resumed his pug video. CC knew he should have insisted on Ashley sleeping alone in his bunk, being respectful of his boyfriend’s need for quiet was difficult.

The smaller man groaned and wrapped the pillow around his head to cover his ears.

“Is sound bugging you too?” CC asked. He couldn’t help being concerned. He’d witnessed Ashley in this state before while touring. The best solution was to leave him behind on the bus to give him time to sort himself out.

Ashley’s eyes were to heavy to pry open and any swift movements reminded him how dizzy he was. His headache had him somewhat disoriented. He unwrapped the pillow from his head to instead pull the blanket up under his chin. “Chris, please let me sleep. My eyes hurt, and I have a headache. Nothing else is wrong. Please stop waking me up,” Ashley whined.

CC almost apologized again only to catch himself. He was on thin ice. Ashley wanted him to stop waking him up. CC decided to resume his memes and gifs as he went through Reddit like he usually did before bed. He kept finding things that Ashley would enjoy or find funny only to be disappointed that he couldn’t wake him up. He muffled his laughter as he watched muted videos. His headphones were tucked on the other side of the bunk where Ashley was cocooned in his pug blanket. Any attempted to get the headphones or asking for them would result in his boyfriend threatening to leave.

Each muffled laugh made Ashley aware that CC was trying his hardest to be quiet. He couldn’t fault his boyfriend’s attempts, it was the thought that counted. Asking an energetic sunbeam like CC to be calm was near impossible. Ashley could feel all the kisses being pressed against his head, neck, and covered shoulder. Every ounce of affection was his boyfriends’ silent way of still being involved even if he was being forced to be quiet. Ashley appreciated the lovey gestures, it seemed CC was full of love and sweetness.

After a video and a few gifs, CC was growing bored. He was used to the nightly routine he had with Ashley. They usually cuddled and messed around. He was starting to map out all the sensitive parts of Ashley’s body, he memorized every reaction and explore ways to make his boyfriend breathless. CC knew where to bite, lick, and suck to get the right reaction. He knew how to touch and feel Ashley’s body too. It was always a challenge to get their boxers off and be naked together in their bunk but that didn’t stop them from touching. CC was starting to crave the next step. The night before he was kissing the insides of Ashley’s thighs, that’s when the begging started. The begging led to an admission, the kind that made CC excited. He wasn’t expecting Ashley’s breathless response that they should try giving each other blowjobs at the same time. Just when CC thought his dreams were coming true…Jake screamed at them to be quiet.

Ashley went into shy mode and suggested going to bed. CC didn’t understand, he really didn’t care what Jake wanted. For the second time in their relationship, Ashley was acting in the moment and not rationalizing everything. He wasn’t worrying about the past or becoming anxious. He was at ease and Jake had to ruin it by screaming at them.

Thinking about Ashley’s shaking thighs sent the blood rushing south. CC didn’t notice right away as he scrolled through Reddit in search of something funny. He was distracted by the memories of all the little sounds Ashley made when he touched him. CC thought about nipping his boyfriend’s skin and the way his hips rolled when he pressed sensual kisses all over his body. Ashley’s moans were beautiful, then there was the way his face lit up when he found release and a tiny smile would pull at his agape mouth. His brown eyes could be clasped shut as his smile grew and his skin began to glow from sweat. Ashley remained unaware that he was beautiful in those moments or that CC was committing those moments to his memory. When the smaller man opened his eyes, his smile morphed into a closed mouth smile, his eyes lazily fluttered shut, and he would be beaming. Ashley didn’t need words; his actions were enough to tell CC that he was happy.

“CC, why do you have a boner?” Ashley asked warily. He could feel something against his backside and CC’s breathing had changed. He was finally drifting off when something poked him. He prayed CC wasn’t watching porn and planned to rub one out as he tried to sleep.

CC froze, he paused the muted compilation video of people wiping out. Color rose to his cheeks and he suddenly became aware of his hard on. He was thankful Ashley’s back was to him. That questioning tone meant it was about to become an awkward conversation.

“Please tell me you didn’t decide to watch porn,” Ashley continued. His imagination was running wild with his eyes still shut. It wasn’t a terrible thought, he rather liked the idea of CC getting off beside him until his headache worsened and chased away the sexy thoughts only to be replaced with pain.

The drummer cleared his throat before speaking. His ability to think outside of his dirty thoughts was difficult. “Uh, not exactly,” he started. He decided to tuck his phone under his pillow and snuggled up as close as he could to Ashley. He grinded his erection into his boyfriend’s covered backside and kissed his neck. “I was actually thinking about you. Those shaking thighs, all the little sounds you make and how you begged last night for a blowjob,” CC whispered into Ashley’s ear.

A shiver ran down Ashley’s spine. CC’s actions and words were starting to affect him too.

“You now, it’s proven that having an orgasm can cure headaches,” CC said running his tongue along Ashley’s neck next. His hands started to roam and wiggle their way under the blanket. Ashley jumped a little at the hands on his sides but calmed down right away.

CC had a point, a very good point. The night before Ashley’s mind was racing with all the things he wanted CC to do to him. They were hung up on touching and hand jobs, it was time to try the next best thing. It didn’t help that memories of the night before were flickering between small waves of pain.

“Wig wam bam gonna make you my man. Wam bam bam gonna get you if I can,” CC sang jokingly. He pulled lightly at Ashley’s hip to encourage him to roll over which seemed to translate easily. “Wig wam bam wanna make you understand. Try a little touch, try a little too much just try a little wig wam bam,” he started again.

Ashley couldn’t hold back his laughter even if it caused his eyes to hurt more. CC didn’t sing a lot around others though it quickly became one of his favorite things. His boyfriend’s goofiness always managed to lighten Ashley’s mood. “You’re such a goof,” Ashley mumbled as he pried his eyes open. His eyes stung when the light hit his irises.

CC noticed Ashley squinting then clasping his eyes shut. He kissed his boyfriend’s cheek while he quietly fussed. He knew he was pushing Ashley’s buttons again. “If you are okay with it, I’d love to see if I could make that pain disappear,” CC said carefully.

“Can I just lay here?” Ashley whispered. He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes and put some pressure onto his eyelids. It helped dull the throbbing pain for a moment.

The drummer affectionately kissed the backs of Ashley’s hands. He rubbed his calloused fingers over his boyfriend’s toned stomach and waited. “You can do whatever you want, sweetheart. If you don’t feel up to it, you can say no,” CC said.

“I’ll do anything at this point,” Ashley groaned. Advil was dulling the pain but not taking it away. Throughout the day the pain was getting progressively worse. He was continuously grateful that tour was over. He was seventeen hours away from home, his bed, and finally seeing his pets.

CC traced designs on Ashley’s tan skin, he could hear how desperate his boyfriend sounded and he was sympathetic. His fingers rubbed over the waistband of his boyfriend’s boxers in a teasing manner. Ashley rolled his hips to hint that he was ready. CC smirked and wiggled his way down to the foot of the bunk. Ashley surprised him by moving the blanket he was wrapped in to provide space. He planned to be a tease. CC found himself in his new favorite place between Ashley’s legs as he started to lovingly kiss the soft skin of his boyfriend’s thighs. The sound of his boyfriend’s breath hitching motivated him.

Ashley couldn’t hold back the giggles as CC’s lips tickled his sensitive skin. He repeated like a mantra not to clamp his knees around his boyfriend’s head as he nipped at his thighs. This was something he wanted, and he was getting impatient. Ashley was reaching down to tangle a hand into CC’s hair just to encourage him to hurry. His words were caught up in his throat as he melted into each kiss and bite. Him being speechless was probably a good thing, it stopped him from being bossy or saying random things.

CC moved slow as peeled Ashley’s boxers off. His favorite place was somewhat dangerous with the risk of his head getting clamped and his boyfriend’s fingers wrapped in his hair. He trailed his kisses down Ashley’s legs while pulling off the tight black boxers. He was aware that the boxers were bought specifically to hug all the right curves and angles of his boyfriend’s hips and butt. On a good night, CC would trace his tongue along the letters of Ashley’s Outlaw tattoo while his hands travelled elsewhere. Many nights were spent outlining each other’s tattoos with their mouths.

“Please,” Ashley moaned. With his eyes sealed shut, his imagination was running wild, and he was excitedly waiting for CC to make a move.

The drummer knew sexual tact wasn’t needed. Ashley’s hand was still in his hair and he was begging. With the boxers abandoned at his boyfriend’s ankles, CC trailed his tongue up his partner’s leg and back to his kiss marked thighs. He bit at the soft skin and marvelled in all Ashley’s sounds. He peaked up to see his boyfriend had a lazy smile on his face. CC switched sides and marked up Ashley’s other thigh. He was stalling before his mouth traveled up north. He did some research and his biggest worry was his lack of skill.

He basically paid Jinxx off to not mention that he was attempting to practice with a banana. CC found himself worrying he wouldn’t know what to do and thought practice would make perfect which only served to embarrass him. Jinxx teased him and advised him to stop overthinking things. With whatever bills CC had in his wallet lining Jinxx’s pocket, the guitarist left him with a valuable piece of information – Ashley didn’t hesitate to try it.

CC kept forgetting this was an adventure for them as a couple. They were equally new to their sexual relationship and there was no need to be insecure. That was the little boost CC needed to trail his kisses to the place he thought was fearsome. His hand touched and held Ashley enough in the last month, all that was different was what his mouth did. He was the one who was being hesitant because he really had no clue what he was doing. It didn’t help that on their last hotel stay, Ashley dropped to his knees in the shower to give him a blowjob. He could avoid returning the favor because his boyfriend kept saying he didn’t want anything in return. Whenever CC offered, Ashley would say he was fine. The smaller man would push his head away from his crotch and say he wanted to cuddle.

Ashley’s avoidance was simple, he wanted to push his limits and spoil CC.

“Ash, tell me that you are okay with this,” CC said. He needed to hear his boyfriend confirm that he was consenting to this.

The smaller man still had a lazy smile as he lay in CC’s bunk half naked. He had butterflies from how excited he was. He felt weightless even though the thrumming pain in his skull weighed him down still. “I trust you,” Ashley said rolling his hips.

That’s all CC needed to hear as he took Ashley’s dick into his mouth. Every self-conscious worry he had disappeared. He didn’t understand how he knew what to do but he knew what he liked. He liked when Ashley ran his tongue along the underside of his dick and circled his tongue under the head. He took his time to figure out what his boyfriend liked. He listened to Ashley’s moans and peaked up to watch the changing expressions on his face. CC hollowed his cheeks as he worked his way from the bottom to the top of his boyfriend’s dick. He had to hold Ashley’s hips down to prevent him from rolling them.

Ashley’s ability to think and breathe was stifled by pleasure. He could choke out moans here and there as he became blissful overcome with relief. With himself distracted the pain in his head was forgotten. His legs shook, and he had to remind himself not to shove CC’s head down or clamp his legs around his boyfriend’s head. He had to return to his mantra.

CC ran his teeth gently down the shaft of his boyfriend’s dick only to hear a subtle change in his breathing and his hair getting pulled hard.

“No,” Ashley groaned.

The drummer hummed in acknowledged and returned to using his tongue. He knew from the way Ashley’s legs shook that he was close and wouldn’t last much longer. CC was starting to get a rhythm as he bobbed his head and used his tongue to encircle the sensitive spots on his boyfriend’s dick.

Ashley kept verbalizing and warning CC that he was close. His grip got a bit tighter in his boyfriend’s hair as he tried to pull his head away. “CC,” he choked out as he tried to get his point across.

CC didn’t listen. He instead sucked harder until Ashley moaned loud enough for the whole bus to know he was having an orgasm. His beautiful moans were accompanied by his hips lightly thrusting as he finally found release. CC swallowed quick and teasingly withdrew his mouth from his boyfriend’s dick. He peeked up to see Ashley’s beautiful open mouthed smile.

“I really like you,” Ashley said blissfully. His heart was racing and all he could think about was CC. With his eyes still closed, he started to come down from his high and noticed the pain his head was disappearing. “I adore you,” he corrected himself.

“I adore you too,” CC said crawling his way up towards Ashley. He snuggled close and watched his boyfriend open his eyes. CC never realized how much he loved his boyfriend’s eyes until he was staring into them. He realized it wasn’t over a blowjob, it was Ashley’s words. He could list what he adored and loved but he knew it was better to save such admissions for another day.

They both snuggled close and just as CC was about to ask about the headache there was a loud knock on the side of his bunk. They both froze and looked at each other with confused looks. The person outside of their bunk cleared their throat and gently knocked again.

“Hey, we had an agreement about sex on the bus remember?” Jake asked innocently.

Ashley violently blushed and CC only laughed awkwardly. Thankful it was the last night on the bus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Sorry this took forever, I needed to clear my head from finally finishing Ashley Baby and I got a new job which meant I had to rehearse for about four hours a day to get the pieces learned. Good old Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata all three movements. I was getting my ass handed to me on movement 3! I hope everyone enjoys this and I hope to get the next chapter out sooner than a month!


	7. Chapter 7

**CC:** I miss you.

**Ash:** I miss you too :(

**CC:** What do you miss? ;)

**Ash:** You.

**CC:** Just me or a certain part of me?

**Ash:** You.

He flopped down on his bed and toss his phone to the side. He was happy to be home. There was only one thing missing…CC. Ashley was finally settled down and thankful that tour was over until summer.

Tokyo and Killer ran around excitedly. Everywhere he went in the house the little dogs followed. They checked up on him constantly in fear he would leave again. The cat didn’t care, she was content curling up on Ashley’s knee when he finally sat down. He spoiled his pets who deserved to feel loved after he was gone for four months.

Those four months were exhausting. Ashley spent his first few hours home doing laundry and putting things away. He cleaned his house until it was dust free and he could breathe. He needed a distraction while he pined over CC who was visiting family. Cleaning soon became boring and all he could really do was give into the sexualized texts. Through his obsessive bouts of cleaning, Ashley found a box of Hustler promotional he received. His curiosity was peaked as he dug through the box of toys. He remembered when he got it and how he shoved it in his closet because he was leaving on tour. Over time, he threw his shoes and clothes that needed mending on top of the box. It was long forgotten over two years and discovering it again reminded him he owed sex toys. Ashley picked through the box for things that intrigued him, and he sent photos to CC.

He ended up with a small pile of things he would use, the rest he put in a garbage bag. Anything expired was useless to him and he didn’t feel he needed a lot of the things that were in the box. They would have been useful when he had a girlfriend and he didn’t want to think about anything but his current relationship with CC. That mindset had him tossing out his porn collection and cleaning his computer off too.

If he told any of his bandmates that he threw out and deleted his porn collection they wouldn’t believe him. CC was shocked and couldn’t stop rereading the text the day he received it.  

His phone buzzed, he could see CC’s goofy face lighting up his phone. Andy teased him about how serious the relationship was for Ashley to decide to have his boyfriend as his screensaver. It was his favorite photo of CC laughing and smiling. Ashley knew that his boyfriend’s screensaver was a photo of him giving CC a piggyback ride. He grabbed his phone, opened the lock screen, and read his text message.

**CC:** Find any other treasures while you were cleaning?

Ashley smiled and thought about the underwear he bought while on tour. His bedside drawer was stuffed with useful things that he wanted to explore with CC as well as by himself.

**Ash:** I might have some sexy underwear I bought for a special occasion.

**CC:** So, that’s what you hid from me when you and Andy went shopping ;)

**Ash:** Maybe…when are you coming home?

He felt pushy for asking such a question. CC had only been gone four days and he loved being around his family. Ashley had a similar feeling about his family. He always looked forward to escaping back to Missouri.

**CC:** How about you convince me to come home?

Ashley stared at his phone. He reread the message and tried to decipher what CC meant. Did he want him to beg? He thought of an argument that would be worthy of asking CC to leave his family.

**Ash:** I want you to come home because I hate sleeping alone. I need you snoring beside me.

**CC:** Oh thanks. I don’t snore, you snore.

**CC:** Try again. Why do you want me to come home?

Ashley grumbled and tried again.

**Ash:** I miss our bedtime routine.

**CC:** I mean I miss that too, but you can still do better.

He was beginning to get frustrated. His rational brain filled in that he needed to think sexual and try to put some detail into his argument. Ashley’s cheeks heated up as he typed his next message. He was embarrassed that he even said such a thing even if he was being vague.

**Ash:** After finding all those toys…it’s made me very horny. I want you to do dirty things to me ;)

**CC:** Dirty things? Maybe you should get started so when I get to your house I can take you to bed.

**Ash:** What do you want me to do?

He only asked because he didn’t want to purpose something he wasn’t ready to try. He figured CC had something in mind. Even if the texts were fun, Ashley didn’t exactly enjoy them. He wondered how he went from a confident flirt with girls to easily mortified with his texts to CC. At least these texts prevented him from spouting out random facts though they raced around his head ready to escape if he spoke to his boyfriend.

**CC:** Take the lube and start to explore. I want to finger you until your legs shake and you beg me to touch your dick.

**Ash:** Oh my god.

**Ash:** I’m shy, you know that.

**Ash:** Maybe I should wait for you…

**CC:** Are you trying to play innocent because that’s hot.

**Ash:** I’m seriously telling you I don’t think I can do that to myself.

**CC:** If you can touch your dick and pleasure yourself that way, you can finger yourself.

The blood rushed south quickly and Ashley was chewing at his lip to bite back the moan in his throat. His previous thoughts about disliking these texts changed. CC was being bold which was an attractive quality, he was asserting some control which had Ashley’s legs tingling at the thought of what his boyfriend could do. He was being truthful that he wanted to wait for CC, it was like moral support.

**CC:** Take it slow. You know how to use your fingers, Ashes.

He hated that CC could sense his distress from across LA. His pants were extremely tight, his erection strained against the constricting fabric of his jeans and escaping them was the only way to relieve the pressure. Ashley dropped his phone onto his chest momentarily as he unbuttoned his jeans and shuffled out of his jeans. He had to turn them inside out to escape their grasp on his thin legs. Even free of his jean didn’t help that he was extremely turned on. He picked up his phone again to resume the sexually charged conversation.

**CC:** I’ll be there in half an hour. At least try it.

Ashley left his phone on the bed as he got up to shower. He knew CC wanted him to get started but he desperately needed to wash his hair and clean himself up. His thoughts were as hot as the water pouring over him. Ashley’s hand found its way to his dick as he lazily stroked himself. He considered all the toys he kept, there was one that could assist him in getting started. CC teased him constantly about trying it out. Ashley didn’t tell his boyfriend he had put the batteries in the purple plug he bought. He was surprised by the power it had and stashed it back in his bunk because it intimidated him. It’s remote would give CC complete control to decide how much pleasure he received, he liked the idea of his boyfriend being the one in control.

Behind his closed eyes, images of CC spanking him and telling him he was a naughty boy played like a porno in his head. Ashley’s hand still moved at a slow pace as he moaned. He wanted CC to tell him to get on his knees and blow him. He longed for his hair to be pulled as he looked up for approval. The very thought of CC’s warm brown eyes staring back at him as he praised him had him coming undone. Ashley moaned loudly and cursed under his breath as he came. He was light headed from his fantasy and reminded himself that he as supposed to be following CC’s demands.

Once he regained his rational train of thought, Ashley got out of the shower and dried himself off. He wasn’t worried about his hair waving or getting messy. He wrapped his towel around his hips and left the warm confines of his bathroom. The cool air in his bedroom stung at his skin and he shivered.

“You have such a beautiful moan,” CC mused from the chair he was seated in by the window.

The voice startled Ashley causing him to drop his towel then proceed to curse as he covered up his exposed flesh with his hands. “For the love of god…why do you do that!” the smaller man yelled. It wasn’t the first time CC had snuck into a room only to scare him with his presence. Ashley glared at him. During tour it was worse, CC would sneak into the bathroom when he showered with the intentions of joining him. He would usually get startled by the arms wrapping around his waist. It was their only escape and chance to be alone which in turn made Ashley less annoyed. Creeping into his house and sitting in his reading chair however did not impress Ashley. “Don’t make me regret giving you a key,” he warned.

“Ashes, come here,” CC said softly. His voice was inviting and calm, devoid of his usual hyperactive nature. He patted his knee and waited for Ashley to walk the few steps towards him. He planned to surprise his boyfriend by showing up with take away. It was their sexually charged texts that made him change his mind resulting in him sneaking in to surprise Ashley instead. He patted his knee again and was impressed with how compliant his boyfriend was instead of being his usual stubborn self.

Ashley awkwardly sat down, his hands again went to preserve his dignity even though he was used to being naked with CC. His cheeks were rosy, and he chewed at his lip with the intention of being endearing. His brown eyes tenderly looked at his boyfriend as he changed his position to instead straddle his partner. Ashley wrapped his arms around CC’s neck as leaned forward to ghost a light kiss over chapped lips.

“What’s up, buttercup?” CC whispered against Ashley’s lips. He loved how relaxed his boyfriend seemed as he got himself settled in a comfortable position. His hands cupped the perfectly round curves of Ashley’s butt.

The smaller man rocked his hips. He looked through his thick eyelashes as he continued to worry his bottom lip. “You apparently,” Ashley said coyly. He could feel his boyfriend’s straining erection against his bare backside.

CC grinned excessively. He loved when Ashley’s confidence shone through the clouds of shyness. It only caused him to crave his boyfriend more.

“Maybe you could show me how you wanted me to use my fingers,” Ashley whispered. His fingers lightly pulled at CC’s shirt as he worked on removing it. It could join the small pile of abandoned clothes on the floor. He was passive in his kisses because he really wanted CC to be in control.

It was easy to get a hold of Ashley and stand up. CC slowly walked towards the bed until his felt the mattress against his legs. He was careful as he laid Ashley down on the bed and wiggled his way out of his tight pants. When he was finally free of the restrictions of his pants, CC crawled onto the bed and lay next to his boyfriend. It was Ashley instigating the heated kissing while he trailed his boyfriend’s hand down lower.

CC broke their kiss for a moment to get the one thing they needed from the bedside drawer. He rolled away for only a moment and was satisfied to find the lube easily enough. It was when he rolled back towards Ashley he knew his boyfriend was waiting for him to take control. Ashley was splayed out with a look of anticipation. “You’re so beautiful,” CC said kissing his boyfriend.

“I want to ask you something before we start,” Ashley said breathlessly. He was blissfully drifting in and out of rational thoughts. His focus was the connection with CC and he wanted them to become closer today.

The drummer popped the lid on the lube and started to slick up his fingers. He loved that Ashley was watching him and back to chewing at his lip. He tauntingly ignored the question until his fingers were coated and ready then he acknowledged the question. “What is that, Ashes?” CC replied.

“Would you go out to Missouri with me?” Ashley asked.

CC looked at Ashley before they took the next step with each other and smiled. “Of course,” he said.

“Now, I think you were about to show me how you wanted me use my fingers,” Ashley grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter!   
> Then on to a story that I've been itching to write for a while. Its been burning my thoughts :)   
> Happy Reading.


	8. Chapter 8

“Country roads take me home, to the place I belong,” Ashley sang from the passenger seat of his SUV. Safely tucked in his hand was a bag of beef jerky and he feet propped up against the dashboard. John Denver blared across the stereo as they travelled out to Missouri.

CC tolerated Ashley’s music because he wanted the beef jerky his boyfriend was holding hostage. He even sang along sometimes to humor the small terror next to him. Traveling with Ashley outside of tour was different. They took photos at small town stops, they held hands as one of them drove, Ashley read aloud to CC, and they generally stopped at little roadside attractions to take even more photos together as they stretched their legs. A trip that should have taken them two and a half days drive was now extended to four days on the road because they stopped so much. CC’s original road plan to drive 10-12 hours a day was thwarted by Ashley. He’d roll his eyes until they ended up stopping which could have been a short walk on a trail or a few minutes of heated foreplay in the back seat of the SUV. They were in the final stretch as they got closer to Ashley’s childhood home. CC saw photos but never realized how rural his boyfriend’s life truly was. “Are you getting excited?” he inquired. Ashley was overly bubbly when they got into the state of Missouri and he sensed he was longing for some peace and quiet compared to Los Angeles.

Ashley stopped singing. He chewed at his lip as he put the bag of beef jerky into the one available cup holder. His nervous lip chewing stopped only to be replaced with him chewing at his thumbnail.

“Did I say something wrong?” CC asked curiously. He wasn’t used to Ashley chewing at his perfectly painted nails and he felt guilty for asking him the question. CC reached out to gently pull his boyfriend’s hand away from his mouth and prevent nervous chewing. His thumb rubbed against the back of Ashley’s hand until he seemed to calm down. “Ash, you can talk to me remember?” he said.

The smaller man nodded and gulped down the growing lump in his throat. “I’m just nervous about my grandparents meeting you,” he whispered.

“I’ve met your grandparents before. You have no reason to worry about how they will feel about us. They love and support you. They’ll be happy for you,” he replied.

Ashley forced himself to smile even if it came off weak and not his usual smile. CC was right, there was nothing he needed to worry about. He knew his family would be happy for him. It was the idea of explaining that he liked guys that had him a bit nervous.

“I told my mom about us when I was visiting her. She gave me crap because I didn’t invite you to come with me. If you need my support I am there for you,” CC said. He lifted Ashley’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of his hand with affection.

CC’s words soothed Ashley’s anxiety and got him back to his bubbly self. “Thanks for making me feel better gummy bear,” Ashley said.

“You’re missing Rocky Mountain High. I’ve heard you sing John Denver all morning and it would be terrible if you didn’t sing this one for me,” CC said lovingly.

Ashley got his hand back from CC’s grasp as he lightly hit him on the shoulder. “I really do adore you, Chris,” he mused.

“I adore you too,” CC said.

Their drive continued to be full of country music and beef jerky. They stopped for gas and coffee but continued their trip without anymore stops. It was late afternoon when they finally drove into Ashley’s home town. CC didn’t know what he expected, he was shocked with how small the town seemed and asked why his boyfriend requested that they pull over at the local grocery store. He watched Ashley intently the whole drive out of the small town and understood the moment the paved road led off to a dirt road.

“Figured you wouldn’t exactly have experience driving a country road. I also don’t want you driving my poor Durango into a ditch,” Ashley laughed lightly.

CC stuck his tongue out and crossed his arms over his chest as he tried to mimic how his boyfriend tended to act. “I would have made it down the road…slowly,” he said defensively. He found himself staring out the window as he took in the scenery. All around them were fields and no signs of people.

“I’m bugging,” Ashley said. He drove a few more miles down the road and turned down another smaller road which eventually brought them into a large yard. There was a large farm house, barn, and other smaller buildings. Ashley parked his vehicle next to his grandparents’ trucks and turned off the engine. He took in the sight of his childhood home and felt his heart beating faster when he saw the two people he loved most in the world standing in the doorway waiting for him.

Ashley unbuckled his seatbelt and looked over to CC who copied him. He wanted to say so many things to his boyfriend before they exited the car. He wanted to tell CC how much he appreciated him making the trip with him and how he wanted him next to him when he told his grandparents about them. Ashley took a deep breath and opened the car door.

“It’ll be okay, lil’ mama,” CC said reassuringly as he got out of the SUV. He waited for Ashley to round the vehicle and offered his hand when he came into sight. He could feel the shaking in his boyfriend’s hand as they walked towards the house hand in hand.

Ashley’s grandparents greeted them with welcoming expressions and kind words. “Welcome home,” his grandma said cheerfully. She opened her arms and waited for him to hug her.

“You didn’t tell us you were bringing a friend,” his grandpa said.

CC let go of Ashley’s hand to give him a chance to hug his grandma. He was raised to be polite and he offered his hand to Ashley’s grandpa. He was met with a firm handshake and a stern yet friendly look.

Ashley looked a bit mortified when his grandpa was still shaking CC’s hand. He interjected by giving the older man a hug and whispering for him to be nice. That gesture made it easier for his grandma to get his boyfriend locked into a hug. Ashley’s cheeks were gaining some color as he went to rescue his boyfriend from his grandma next.

“This is my bo-boyfriend CC,” Ashley said awkwardly. His face was bright red and he wanted to go hide behind CC because he was a little bit taller than him.

Ashley’s grandma smiled then went to poke her grandson’s rosy cheeks. “He never acts like this when he brings people home,” she said. She continued to poke Ashley in the face and bug him until he started to pout. “It’s very nice to see you again, CC. You can call me Maggie, and this is Robert,” she said.

“You can call her nana and him pop-pop. That’s what everyone calls them,” Ashley said sticking his tongue out.

Maggie smiled at Ashley in a playful way. “You can help me feed chickens, tootsie roll,” she said.

“Don’t call me that,” Ashley said under his breath.

His grandparents laughed at his pain and went into full detail about his nickname. CC was sure Ashley was about to combust from all the embarrassment of his childhood nickname. “Chickens need feeding. Robert can show CC around,” Maggie said after all the joking was over.

Ashley looked to CC with a somewhat blank look. He shrugged and prayed his grandpa would be on his best behavior while showing his boyfriend around the farm. Usually it was his grandma that conducted the tours of the farm and he couldn’t help but feel nervous. He allowed his grandma to drag him off towards the barn.

Back on the porch, CC found himself staring at Robert. The older man hinted for him to follow him out into the yard and the drummer didn’t ask any questions. They walked back behind the house where a smaller looking shed was.

“That’s the guest house. Any funny business happens in there. I’m not used to giving lectures on rules, my grandson hardly brings anyone home. So, you guys have privacy there. If you want to ride horses or motorcycles you’re both welcome to do what you want. Ashley knows the things we do and do not do on this farm,” Robert said.

CC nodded and took in the sights of the farm. He wasn’t used to how quiet it was. The only sounds were nature. They continued to walk around until they stopped at a fenced off vegetable garden.

“I want my grandson to be happy and you seem to do a good job of that. If you hurt him, I’ll…I don’t know bury you in this vegetable patch and grown carrots over your body,” Robert said. He tried to come off tough only to laugh.

“I like carrots,” CC replied.

Robert clapped his hand down on the thin man’s shoulder and nodded. “Good. Shall we have a drink?” he asked.

Meanwhile, Ashley was fielding all kinds of questions from his grandma. Some that were general questions and others made him blush. He told her he wouldn’t answer some of her questions. She continued to pry until he finally broke.

“Nana, I don’t want to give you details okay? Chris is a stable part of my life and I’ve had less anxiety attacks because he has created a safe relationship for us. He’s respectful, kind, and likes me for me. Can we just leave it there? I’m so happy when I’m with him. He makes me a better person,” Ashley said. He threw a handful of feed out into the yard. He had to fan his eyes before offering another handful of seed to the chickens running around his feet.

Maggie watched him. She had always watched him closely out of love. She would always worry and want the best for him. “Ashley, I only ask you questions because I want to make sure you are in a healthy relationship. The last time you brought someone home with you they ended up being toxic,” she said.

“I know, I appreciate that you care. Bringing CC here is a huge step for our relationship. You guys knowing we’re together was the most important thing before we,” Ashley trailed off before he said something he would regret admitting to his grandma.

She pulled him into a side hug and kissed him on the cheek.

“I hope pop-pop isn’t torturing CC,” Ashley said. He worried his lip as he looked around the farm to see if he could catch a glimpse of them walking around. He absentmindedly threw more feed to the chickens as he scanned the area.

Maggie tossed the remaining feed on the ground then pulled the other bucket from her grandson’s hand. “Go check up on them,” she said.

“You’re okay with this right? Me and CC?” Ashley asked nervously before he walked away from his grandma.

Her welcoming smile reassured him instantly that he didn’t need to ask. “All I want is for you to be happy and to find someone who loves you,” she said. She was already aware that CC was a decent man and that her grandson was in a better place since his last visit.

Ashley crossed the yard and walked up the front porch steps. He pulled open the door of his childhood home and walked into the warm landing. He could hear laughter coming from the living room. He crept along the hallway and peaked into the living room to see his grandpa and CC having a drink together. They were in a deep conversation about sports which had them arguing over whose team was better.

He decided to leave them to their conversation. He wanted his grandparents to bond with CC on this trip. He went to the kitchen to start supper and waited for his grandma to join him. It wasn’t long before the whole house smelled of Southern cooking.

“I didn’t know you cooked,” CC said from the doorway.

Ashley peaked over his shoulder and smiled. “Grandma taught me,” he said softly.

“She’s quite happy that you decided to cook supper tonight,” CC teased. She had joined them in the living room after she finished feeding the chickens.

The smaller man rolled his eyes.

His meal didn’t go unappreciated. Everyone was singing his praise for the Cajun Dirty Rice he made for supper. They sat at the dinner table talking over tea and homemade baking. It was after 10:00 o’clock when Ashley finally dragged CC away from his family and out to the guest house.

The night air was brisk as they gathered their luggage from the Durango. CC swore a blue streak as he tossed the last suitcase out of the back of the vehicle. Neither of them packed light and he was pretty sure he couldn’t pull the suitcases through the grass.

“You shouldn't wheel those through the grass unless you want chicken poop all over your suitcase,” Ashley teased.

CC groaned in frustration. He was sick of carrying the suitcase in and out of the trunk.

“Here’s the guest house key,” Ashley said handing his lanyard over to his boyfriend. He was sympathetic of CC’s plight of dragging suitcases around over their trip. He waited for his boyfriend to get ahead of him before he called for him to lock the vehicle. He bent down and picked up one of the suitcases and carried it over the guest house. He could hear CC swearing more as he searched for the light switch. “Honey, it’s on the lower right side of the wall,” he yelled as he got into the doorway of the small house. He dropped CC’s suitcase down on the floor and flipped the switch while his boyfriend stood helpless in the dark.

The drummer scowled. “Who puts a light switch that low? I never would have found it,” he said factually.

“You might want to get the down feather comforter out of the trunk at the foot of the bed,” Ashley warned. He went back to get his suitcase and cursed under his breath. He knew he didn’t need his hair straightener or a bunch of make up. He could have packed less as he hauled the overweight suitcase into the guest house. Ashley dropped it down on the floor and closed the door behind him.

CC was fluffing out the comforter on the bed. He shivered and wondered why it was so cold in the small house. It had a damp coolness to it. It was a rather nice little place. It had a bed, a small couch, a bathroom with a shower, an empty tv stand, a mini fridge with coffee maker, and a small nook to sit at near the window. It was a small sanctuary and he understood why Ashley liked staying here.

“My grandparents raided the place and took the TV when theirs broke. The heating works but it might take a while to warm up since it gets turned down when the place isn’t in use. I hope you don’t mind that it’ll be a bit cold tonight,” Ashley said. He sat down on the floor and started to unzip the zipper on his suitcase. He started to sift through the piles of clothes until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a pair of woolen socks and tossed them at CC. “Might want to wear those tonight,” he said lovingly. He pulled out another pair and started to undo his shoes.

They turned in early and in the middle of the night, CC found himself cuddling against Ashley for warmth. In the morning, they woke up wrapped around each other. There wasn’t a lot to do, Ashley took him horseback riding, and into town to show him the best haunts. He introduced him to all the animals on the farm and cautioned him about which chickens would chase him if he didn’t throw feed fast enough.

Their free time was spent sometimes sitting on the small couch in their little hide away as Ashley read aloud to him from the book they started when they left Los Angeles. Other times, they were entangled in each other on the bed. Ashley brought a small make up bag of stuff for them to explore which had them locked away for hours.

“I’ve never wanted you so bad,” Ashley moaned. His legs were shaking as CC sat back on the couch and watched his boyfriend wither away from pleasure.

Safely nestled in his hands was the remote that controlled the vibrating plug. CC was enjoying the sight and telling Ashley he wasn’t allowed to touch himself unless he said so. He watched him hungerly. He was waiting for Ashley to say the magic word.

Unfortunately, he didn’t say the magic word yet.

They found themselves absorbed in each other. There were no prying eyes as they chased each other around the farm yard. Ashley had CC’s hat in his hands as he played keep away. They kept playing impish games throughout the week. They didn’t even notice that Ashley’s grandparents were watching them chase each other around the farm only to end up kissing each other.

The week-long visit was going quickly, Ashley was starting to get anxious about leaving his home. He wanted to stay in the peaceful country side where he was free to hold hands with CC and be his happiest without fans bothering him. He knew CC was feeling something similar when he mentioned staying a bit longer.

It was a rather quiet day. One that had them hiding inside their little house. CC was watching YouTube videos on his phone while Ashley sketched. There was a biting cold in the air that had them hiding inside instead of running around the farm tormenting each other like usual. Ashley stopped sketching for a moment and looked up through his thick eyelashes. He put his sketchbook aside then pulled off his glasses. He kept staring at CC only to notice he was caught up in one of his favorite conspiracy theory YouTubers.

Ashley got up from the couch and went to his suitcase to grab a few things before retreating into the bathroom. The small confines of the bathroom made him a bit claustrophobic as he stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the shower. He took his time showering and even shaved his face. Ashley dried his hair and straightened it. He bathed himself in his favorite colognes. He lined his eyes in eyeliner and put contacts in. He studied himself in the mirror before wrapping his black silk robe around himself.

He was nervous as he walked out of the bathroom and back into the cool space they were calling home temporarily. His hand tightly gripped the bottle of lube he used in the shower to prep himself. Ashley walked over to the bed and placed the bottle on the small bedside counter. That seemed to draw CC’s attention away from his phone.

“Holy shit,” he said breathlessly as he took in the sight of his boyfriend. Ashley was a vision of beauty standing in front of him in his short black robe. He wondered what his boyfriend was up too in the bathroom for the past hour.

Ashley smiled deviously as he crawled onto the bed and straddled CC’s hips. His lips trailed kisses from his boyfriend’s lips to his ear. Ashley nibbled at CC’s earlobe before whispering his wants to him. “I’m ready,” he said seductively.

CC rolled them over and gently slammed Ashley down on the mattress. His teeth pulled at his boyfriend’s lip before he returned to being gentle. He ran his tongue along Ashley’s soft lip and marvelled in the little moan that escaped his lips.

“I spent a little time prepping myself,” Ashley said breaking their kiss for a moment. His fingers lightly traced their way down CC’s back as his fingers got hold of the bottom hem of the shirt. Ashley didn’t need to hint to much for CC to strip himself out of his clothes.

It was like a sinful present unwrapping Ashley from his silk robe. CC trailed his lips down the length of his partner’s body. His tongue outlined the letters on Ashley’s outlaw tattoo as his hand went lower. He was gentle as he pressed one of his fingers inside his boyfriend’s body. He rather liked teasing Ashley who moaned loudly.

“More,” he begged. He’d made use of a toy in the shower and wanted to be as close to CC as possible. He didn’t want to rush but he didn’t want to wait.

CC obliged by giving into Ashley’s demands. “Someone was a bit adventurous in the shower,” he commented. His fingers worked their way in and out of Ashley’s body until he was sure his boyfriend was ready. He withdrew his fingers and grabbed the lube that sat on the bedside table. CC put a very liberal amount of lube on his dick and had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from moaning.

Ashley watched with anticipation. His feet were planted flat on the mattress as his boyfriend got situated back between his legs.

“We’ll go slow,” CC said softly. He linked their left hands together and rest his forehead against Ashley’s. CC kissed him lovingly as he got himself lined up. He wanted their first time together to be special. The most romantic and intimate experience of Ashley’s life. He distracted his boyfriend with kisses as he slowly pushed into Ashley’s body. CC could feel his boyfriend’s legs shaking as he finally bottomed out. He stilled and let Ashley adjust for a moment before he moved.

He was overwhelmed by the pleasure and connection he felt with CC. Ashley’s legs continued to tremble as he got used to the satisfying feeling of being as physically close as he could get with his boyfriend. The first thrust made him moan and grab desperately at the bed sheets. CC moved slowly which caused Ashley’s brain to go hazy.

“I adore every ounce of you,” CC said. He picked up his pace a bit even though his intention was to keep things moving slowly.

Ashley wrapped his legs around CC’s thin waist and pulled him even closer to him. The thrust caused his boyfriend to hit his sweet spot and make him babble incoherently. Each slow thrust became a pleasurable torture as he tried to tell CC how he felt.

Neither of them lasted long. CC didn’t know if it was the pleasure he felt from Ashley’s body or the love he developed for him. He came sooner than he wanted too. CC wished he could hold onto the moment forever but that wasn’t possible. Ashley clung to him as he moaned and came which was one of the most beautiful sounds to ever come from his boyfriend’s lips.

They cuddled together in the after glow and cooled their sweat-sticky bodies before they got the energy to get up and shower together. Ashley didn’t want to be separated from CC even as they clung to each other and kissed one another. They were distracted and ended up with pruney toes as things heated up again.

“Do you want to watch the sunset?” CC asked when they eventually got out of the shower. He was easily distracted by Ashley who was getting dressed.

Ashley smiled and nodded his head.

There was nothing more peaceful than rural Missouri. The cold edge to the air was refreshing to the boys who stood admiring the cotton candy sky. Ashley leaned against the fence and felt contentment as CC wrapped his arms around his hips and rested his chin on his shoulder.

CC pressed a kiss to the back of Ashley’s head and cuddled him closer. “You make me ridiculously happy,” he admitted.

Ashley bit back his smile and all the butterflies in his tummy fluttered about excitedly. “I’m so glad you’re mine,” he whispered back.

They stood together watching the sunset. The sounds of rural Missouri was their soundtrack as they enjoyed the peacefulness surrounding them. Their perfect hideaway from the world as they enjoyed each other. They knew they would have to return to Los Angele eventually but they would treasure the days they had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap on this random little story!  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
